- hmmph; no guy ever took me on a shopping spree before. Shawntel is lucky. And I'm NOT expressing the type of traffic-light-green-jealousy that the rest of the house displayed. Did I mention that I hate Michelle? I do think it was kinda mean having Shawntel arrive back to the house in between to show off her goods and the smokin' hot dress. Mean yeah, but I did giggle at the same time ;). I think I like Shawntel.
- Did I mention that I hate Michelle?
- Brownie points for Emily. She sure wore her big girl panties didn't she? I don't think I could have done the same. And Brad did convey genuine concern toward her. I have to admit to having an ounce of newfound respect for the guy after that.
- As much as I make fun of Brad's, err...'personality', I have to admit that he fills out a t-shirt soooooooo well!
- ...but WHYYYYY does he like Michelle so much???
- the best part about this episode was hearing Elvis. It was great background music for catching up on facebook.
- SERIOUSLY does he have to consult his therapist for EVERY decision he makes? Does he wipe his arse for him, too?
- Jebus did he just not only buy, but also eat up, little Miss Michelle-the-Dominatrix's latest 'lecture'? Perhaps they do deserve each other. He looks like the type that could be led around on a short, short leash and whipped into shape. Looks like my newfound respect has disappeared. I fully blame Michelle.
- Um...who was Lisa M anyway??
Monday, 31 January 2011
Saturday, 29 January 2011
You're my rock.
You're my constant.
You're my person.
You're my irritant.
You're my frustration.
You're my love.
You're my very best friend.
Happy Birthday to you. Thanks for bein' YOU. Love you!! xoxoxo
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
How much glee did I feel when I saw my Bon Bon's name in the headlines on MSN today??
Well, you can be dang sure I'll be going opening night!!
The fanfare aside, I did see the film's precursor, and loved it. Who wants to be my date?
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
You're lucky ya'll mean so much to me, because it's taking everything I have to actually take my hands out from underneath the blanket to blog this (err, at least out of the arm holes on my awesome cozy throw!). It's been frickin' COLD in the Maritimes the past few days. We've had it lucky, for sure, but today with the windchill we were sitting at -33 Celsius. I've been cold all day. Anyway, I am here for a reason, so I'll get down to it...
- Seriously - HOW does one go to bed with no obvious bruises or contusions, and the next day, wake up with a black eye? Jebus Brad, if she beats herself up in bed, you don't wanna be beddin' up with her. Think of your safety, man! (typed before her little threat about giving Brad his own black eye prior to commercial break, I might add). SHE'S MENTAL! MENNNNTAL! Did she hurt herself on purpose to get Brad's attention/sympathy? Perhaps it's strategically placed makeup?? Nothing would surprise me about that one.
- I'm liking Chantal. I'm not convinced that Brad is good enough for her, but she'd be one of my final picks. She's genuine. They do seem to 'get' each other, too.
- It doesn't get any more special than a group date with a therapist, eh? Better yet a therapist on the radio! How many others do you think also cheated? Hmmmm...
- He's so socially awkward. It's ridiculous. And the way he says, "Puleeeeeze", every second word still screams, "Don't hate me like the rest of America", if you ask me.
- Like I really, like, wish, like the word, "like", was no longer, like, socially acceptable. I really think watching this show kills extra brain cells.
- Why must this show turn into Fear Factor? Can't they just go on regular dates to get to know each other? Hey, maybe that could help the directors/producers come up with a 60 minute show of drama instead of taking another whole hour from our lives each week.
- Did Meghan have a massive case of the trots? Or worse yet? Did she already mess herself? Why else would she walk like that? Tip for ya Meghan: If you can't walk in heels - DON'T wear heels. Then you won't have strangers question your bowel functions on a public blog. You looked completely ridiculous.
- Next week looks dramatic! See ya then!
Friday, 21 January 2011
That led our discussion to the Mexican Jumping Bean. Did any of ya'll have this special toy when you were young? I polled my work audience, and the younger ones had no idea what I was talking about but those my age or older, did. I remember having them. I remember taking them out of their little plastic box and watching them twitch and roll - especially if you put them under a light. I remember holding them and how it made me giggle at the feel of them jumping around. It sorta tickled. So we got to talking about them. Just what, exactly makes a Mexican Jumping Bean jump? Is it similar to what we saw today? Are they so light that static electricity makes them appear lifelike?
Well, actually, no. In fact, it's much more sinister. Creepy, even. It's actually a life form. Inside the shell is a living, breathing, moving caterpillar!!! That, with enough time, hatches! My parents gave me BUGS to play with when I was a young'n! Maybe that's why I hate bugs so much today. Perhaps I'm repressing some terrible memory of taking my special, precious Mexican Jumping Beans to bed with me, and having them hatch under my pillow and wake up to them squirming over me?
I told Chris about it - he, of course, being younger didn't know what the heck I was even talking about. I told him the childhood story and the truth that I'd today found. He didn't believe me...so I made him watch this (he believes me now):
I'm not sure you can still buy them today - can't say I'm entirely surprised if you can't!
Consider it your daily science lesson. Happy Friday!
This has been a public service announcement.
....he follows this video with a few more, all with the same premise - including tearing up a $5000 cheque I might add (because, of course, it wasn't a cheque for a million dollars). And you know what? Persistance does pay, because the guy REALLY did manage to reach a millionaire out there who was willing to part with $100,000,000 of his own cash, and in return, wanted nothing from him, apparently.
Hmmmph. Ok, so millionaires who may be reading this blog: PLEASE send me a million dollars. Please, from the bottom of the cockles of my heart. I promise to do good with it. I promise to make you proud. In turn, it will make us BOTH famous, so a virtual win-win for the two of us!!
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
Then I saw it.
Moving, almost camouflaged, at its own pace, on my pant leg, was a most disgusting, most vile arachnid. On my leg.
Sweet Baby Jesus. A spider was upon my person**. A creepy, crawly spider. I abhor spiders. After doing a little shimmy shake I was able to remove it from my person, finding it's landing spot on the carpet, and aiding in its untimely death. For the remainder of the day I had images of and had myself convinced that more spiders were crawling over me, nesting between my boobs or something. I'm itching now just writing about it.
Probably an hour later, my co-worker beside me went to pump some hand sanitizer from her dispenser and a long stream of sanitizer shot through the air, across the side of the desk beside me. In my peripheral, of course, all I saw was something moving and I immediately jumped..thinking more spiders were coming for me. You know something like this could make a person mental. Suppose some people would have less of a road to travel to reach that point than others, though.
And how was YOUR day?
* The jokes from my co-workers about their being the possibility of a nest above me in the a/c vent were not appreciated, and NOT the least bit funny!
**I wasn't able to embed the video inside my post, but please, do click the link and watch this funny Moss clip. The IT Crowd is frigging hilarious. This phrase is actually a quote from Moss - from this episode. Unfortunately the video doesn't play out long enough to include it. You should go find Episode 3 from the first season and watch the whole thing. For serious.
Monday, 17 January 2011
- Did Seal know they were going to brutalize that song of his? Hopefully they didn't let him hear it. That was worse than any karaoke song I've heard. And I've heard a lot of karaoke in my day. Just sayin'. I have to admit to being touched by Ashley's story; I may have even shed a tear.
- Michelle you're such a drama queen-biotch. Tell me something. Just what DID you expect to experience when you signed up to strut your stuff for the Bachelor, if not competing for one man's attention amongst a room of other women?? Seriously.
- Alli totally reminds me of Jennifer Garner.
- OMG I wish I wasn't watching this 'real time'. Sitting through the litany of commercials is painful.
- Jeeebus more talk of dead dads and now dead husbands. STOP it already! *sniff*
- His therapist, eh. Really? He gonna be back on the finale to tell him which girl to choose?
- Seriously Michelle is psyyyyyycho! I'm trying not to be too repetitious, but she just keeps coming back...and back... Does Brad have a pet bunny?
- I find myself looking more at the art on the walls than actually paying attention to what they're saying.
- Did Vampira just say, "consisive"? Or maybe it was, "concisive"? Maybe it's a word in her world? I won't miss her.
- The 'non-chosen' ones should really say good-bye with class...perhaps keeping a bit of the snot under control? And perhaps keeping the f-bomb drops to a minimum as you waltz off? Just sayin'.
What is 'delurking day', you ask? It's nothing perverse, I assure you. It's a day specifically set aside for you readers out there to introduce yourself in the comment section! Urban Dictionary defines "delurk" as: "Entering an online discussion after a time spent lurking, esp. if suddenly prompted to do so."
So there, I'm prompting you to c'mon out and say hi! How'd you find me? What keeps you around? What do you like about 'my happy place'? What keeps you reading? What do you dislike? Is there anything you'd like to see here that I've not posted about before? If you don't wanna talk about me, talk about YOU! Tell me all about yourself! Do you have a blog? Link your blog in my comments, and I'll be sure to check it out :).
To all my faithful readers, lurking or not, a huge thank you for sticking around as long as you have. I appreciate each and every one of you! xoxo
Yeah, so all in all, I didn't have a horrible Monday. I don't think it was bleak. I don't feel depressed. However, I suppose I shouldn't take any chances...I think I will have a piece of chocolate, or two...you know, just to be safe. The Internet told me so ;).
I hope that your "Blue Monday" wasn't blue for you, either.
Saturday, 15 January 2011
Last night, I was also home alone, so took advantage. Chris was off getting his corner of the Guild set up for Art for Music display. It was the opening night, and I was invited to join him, but I opted out on the fact that it would more than likely be 3 hrs straight of 'shop talk'. And the kind of shop talk that goes way over my head. I felt less guilty when I heard Stephen's girlfriend opted out as well. I do intend to go down to see the exhibit, on my own clock, and encourage you all to do the same. There will undoubtedly be a whooooolllle lotta talent in the room :).
So, last night, in addition to watching what nighttime tv I'd missed this week, I also did a quick root touch-up on the greys, and finished my book for Sunday evening's book club. It's my first book club experience. While I have plans to read more, I'm still pulled by the computer and tv more frequently than not, so I fear I won't be a real intelligent contributor to such an event. Let's face it, the odds are good that I'll be going there having not finished the book most times. Fortunately for me for the first round at least, the chosen book was a young adult novel, which took no time to read. We meet tomorrow evening at Lana's to watch the movie and discuss over snacks. Looking forward to it! (Not to mention a late Christmas for Lana and I - let's face it, more looking forward to that ;))
So it's Saturday afternoon. Tonight we have plans to hang out with Marco & Lizanne. The house is a mess and Mount Laundry has resurfaced. I should really clean up a bit, but after finding the post title quote above, I feel it's a sign from a higher power that if I truly want to make this weekend count, I oughta just fluff up my cozy throw, move Zoe to a more comfortable position atop my lap, and find something good to watch on Netflix. I hope you all are able to enjoy your weekend in the same fashion.
*Bill Watterson quote
Thursday, 13 January 2011
I'm kidding. I do, however, check my daily horoscope in the paper. For the most part I can find similarities, but they really do make those things so random that almost anyone can find similarities between what happened to them and what is written. Truth be told, I always blamed my two-facedness on being a Twin. You know, it's one of their 'qualities', after all. Now I'll just be two-faced.
So upon the discovery of the goings-on with the constellations, I did some research on the characteristics of a Taurus woman:
What do you think? I suppose I have a few of these qualities. But...a good cook? Good with finances? Baahahaaahaaaahahahhah!! Right. That's just a little bull, don'tcha think? ;)
You see, I'm terrribly affected by repetitive, inane noises... a tap dripping...someone drumming their hands on a desk...clinking one's ring on a table...someone snoring...an answering machine or cell phone beeping over and over and over with an unheard message...nose whistles...snapping of gum, or better yet, chewing of gum with one's mouth open that makes that distinct 'chewing noise'...nose whistles (oh, did I already list that?)...
Repetitive noises such as these make me ragey. I really would be the perfect candidate for some sort of torture method whereby the victim is tightly bound and made listen to one of those noises on repeat. I wonder how long I would last before I decided to try to swallow my own tongue in an effort to make the noise stop? I can't be the only person out there like this, am I? Anyone else wanna fess up to being equally susceptible as I am? What do you do to cope? Do you make a physical effort to make the annoyance stop - like getting up and moving away from the noise, or telling someone to stop their damn chewing in your ear, or suck back the G.D. snot already? Or do you try to pretend it doesn't exist - imagine yourself on a faraway beach of white sands and turquoise waters, sipping on a frosty, umbrella drink? Maybe I need therapy.
*Quote by Whoopi Goldburg
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Customer calls in. Customer's account is password protected. Customer does not have a corresponding hint question. The forgotten password is ham basket. Service agent attempts to help customer come up with the answer to the password question by offering the following, "It might possibly be a place of employment that you've had".
*queue uproarious laughter*
For those of my readers (like the aforementioned service agent) who may not know what this colloquialism may be referring to, I've taken the liberty of finding it for you on urban dictionary and have linked the definition to the term. Simply click the link, and you will be filled with more wisdom than you were a few moments ago.
*resume uproarious laughter*
Supposing the service agent did know the meaning of the term, what do you suppose she may have used for her 'hint'? "It might possibly be one of your hidden talents?"
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
- To the mentally unstable chick who "spent all that money on clothes", and "quit her job": OF COURSE Brad will fall in love with you! You totally will be the last woman standing for those two reasons alone! *massive eye roll*. (PS - you should have spent the money you wasted on the clothes on a better boob job).
- Bahahahahahaah!!! Date #1 and Brad brings out his inner carny!!!!
- Does Ashley H talk with her hands like that allllll the time, or is just nerves?
- Alli= Jennifer Garner's double?
- "You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you" - song lyrics by Train from Brad's date with Jackie. HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THIS LYRIC????!
- OMG did he just use the term, "irregardless"????!
- Keltie - if the Bachelor is your 'last ditch effort' you should probably seek the help of a trusted professional.
- The drama between Melissa & Raichel was the most entertaining part of the show. If you ask me, Melissa is just jealous of Raichel's boobs. (Jumping Jesus - in one breath she's snuffing and crying over how stressed she is...and in the next breath, giggling over potential onion breath?). It really is too bad that Brad had to kibosh it so quickly, don't you think?
Sunday, 9 January 2011
You can pretend you want to know a little bit more about me...
1.Sweet or Savoury? Look at me - obviously I enjoy large helpings of either. A lot.
3.House or Apartment? - While maintenance, snow removal, and the fact one is not responsible for replacing broken appliances is a very attractive option, having to deal with shitty-ass neighbors outweighs any goodness. And why put hundreds of dollars out to rent something when you can put those hundreds towards something that might possibly be yours someday?
5.DVDs or Downloads? - Both; and lately, way too much Netflix. I love commercial free tv.
7.Chocolate or Strawberry? - Having to choose between one or the other, there will be no way I will ever, ever choose a strawberry over a piece of chocolate. However, I do very much enjoy chocolate-dipped strawberries.
9.Magazines or Newspapers? - Magazines. I hate the black residue a newspaper leaves.
11.CDs or MP3s? - CDs, and lately a whole lotta iTunes for my iPod.
13.Macaroon or Cupcakes? - Cupcakes; I don't much like coconut.
15.Breakfast in Bed or Breakfast Out? - I don't like crumbs in my bed. But I'd prefer to have breakfast made for me without leaving the house, so that I may stay in my jammies and have the freedom to loaf for as long as I possibly can.
17.Sourdough or Grainy? - For a treat, a little sourdough is good, but for day to day I'm trying to incorporate a lot more whole grain foods into my diet.
19.Late nights or Not? - I used to be a night owl; over the last couple of years, however, by 11pm I'm almost nodding off.
*I had borrowed this from Trudy months ago, and had it started in my drafts since then. Once I posted it I went to her blog to read her answers again. Without knowing it some of my answers bear a bit of resemblance to hers...which is a complete accident. And a testament that we're related. And both kinda awesome :).
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Is it just me, or does this not scare the CRAP out of anyone else out there????
Sure since Netflix came into our lives I've watched waaay too much Paranormal State, and have seen the Seventh Sign, and have watched several shows on what Nostradomus predicts. And yeah, I might be a little bit more impressionable than the average joe, but my dear Jebus. I'm ready to start building an underground shelter. Who's got a shovel?
Update: Okay, after reading the following article today I feel slightly less disturbed:
I still think it's creepy though. :P
Monday, 3 January 2011
...err....waaaaaiiiiiitaminute...WTF....Brad? Commitment-phob Brad? Brad-I-have-to-tell-you-good-bye (to both women), Brad? Surely there were other suitable Bachelors in America, ABC....? So he blames his inability to commit on his absent father? And he's taken three years to soul search via intensive therapy, enabling him a newfound ability to now fall in love, drop to one knee, propose, and settle in a home with a white picket fence? Riiiiiight. If you ask me, his self-esteem was completely annihilated by public ridicule, and he's now jumping at the opportunity to try to redeem himself and try to change the views of every woman in America, for better or for worse...
Some early observances:
- Notice they've opted to leave the ages of the bachelorettes out?
- He was SO awkward, and if I have to hear, "I've changed-which-loosely-translates-t0-PLEASE-don't-hate-me" one.more.time I might literally vomit.
- Is it just me, or does anyone else think he should be bare-chested in faded overalls chewing on a piece of straw?
- He's very fortunate the girls received him like they did. I'm smelling a lot of desperation in the room, and a lot of future heartbreak.
- WTF was up with the vampire chick?
- Early favourite: Emily
- Early unfavourite: the vampire
- Girls: being rejected on night ONE of the Bachelor SHOULD NOT induce tears - unless you're emotionally unstable and need professional help!
- Quotes of the evening: "If he doesn't get a wife this time, he's gonna have to go into a cave"; "It's better to be home alone than to be home and wish you were alone".
So a new year, and with it come new resolutions. I've never been one to fully get on board with making "resolutions", but last January I did have a few ideas that I jotted down that I wanted to accomplish in 2o10. Let's revisit them, shall we, and I'll note how successful or unsuccessful of an undertaking they actually were in parentheses:
-to continue my 'healthier eating' approach to life (HUGE FAIL)
-to commit 1 day/week to my momma - be it an outing for the two of us, a visit to watch tv with her, or just a phone call. (SUCCESS)
-to read 1 book per month (Fail, but I finished several books, which was probably more in the year than I had in many years prior (combined).)
-to drink more water (Consistent attempt)
-to try new fruits and vegetables (new WHAT??!)
-to pay my Visa down (Bahahaha! Right. FAIL).
-to own (ie, have the ability to fit my fat calves into) a pair of high boots (SUCCESS (not because I lost weight in my calves, though. Thanks to http://www.widewidths.com/, I now own a pair of tall boots that I find very comfortable - fat calves and all.)
-to have a more positive attitude re: certain things in my life (Work in progress)
-to laugh more (My mom still thinks I have no sense of humour.)
-to craft more, even if it's just making cards (I never bought one store-bought card in 2010. I didn't craft anything else, though.)
-to de-clutter (The tin collection above my kitchen cupboards finally found it's way to the recycling bins...does that count?)
-to exercise and learn to like it (I played tennis. And liked it. Once. *looks down at protruding fat belly and feels like a failure*)
(I shall continue this list into 2011....and in 2012 we can re-revisit ;))
So I guess my 2010 was a year of some success, but mostly failures when you put it down in point form (see why I don't make resolutions?). Yes, I still need work at learning to budget, which includes finding extra money to pay down credit card debt. And yes, I fell off the healthy eating wagon...hard. So I have a few challenges for myself in the year ahead to get back ON that wagon and ride it to victory. This may come with the resurgence of the blog...and I welcome any and all words of encouragement and polite kicks in the ass that you can provide. One of my biggest accomplishments that I've stuck with, however, is freeing up regular time to spend with my Mom. Our time together is super important to me. I love her dearly, and I hope our Mummy & Me nights can continue for many years to come. That one accomplished goal alone makes up for all the less than successful moments. Though I may have to shop at a website for fluffy calves, and I still may find myself winded as I reach the threshold of a stairway, I'm creating precious memories of time well spent with one of the most important people in my life. And that's worth more than it's weight in gold. Happy New Year. May you all take a regular opportunity throughout 2011 to make your own precious moments in time.