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Tuesday, 24 April 2012

"just be nice"

Sometimes when life gets you down, you can turn into a bitter soul who hates the world.  You wallow in your own self pity.  You think that everyone is out to get you.  You can interpret things incorrectly... Today I received a message that kinda hurt my feelings.  Instead of lashing out at the person I opted to say nothing. Then I stewed about it all day.  Perhaps I wasn't being fair to myself, but I kept coming back to three little words my dad always said. 

"Just be nice". 

When things are beyond your control - when you want to yell and scream and slap someone silly for being so clueless - take the higher road.  Be the bigger person.  Just be nice.  Adding to the stress and negativity won't help, in the long run.


*Ok, so maybe I'm still slightly stewing, and I still think that if I could yell and scream a few obscenities I'd feel better.  I'll get over it though.  And Dad, I'm trying my best to stand true to your wisdom.  You also always said, "You'll feel better after a good night's sleep".  I think I shall go turn the covers of the bed down.

Thursday, 5 April 2012

wastin' away again in Margaritaville

Again proof that God only takes the best... and too, too soon.  We lost Corey 8 years ago today.  He was way too young to know the kind of suffering that his poor body experienced in the end.  He had so much more life to live... Some things, I'll just never, ever understand....

He had the biggest smile that could light up the darkest of rooms.  He was kind-hearted, generous, and loved to have a good time. I miss his smile.  I miss his laugh...

Every time I hear Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville I immediately think of Corey - and my mind drifts back to a happier time, when we were all together, dancing up a storm in a circle.  Your circle of friends will never be whole again, Corey.  You've left an opening that no one will ever be able to fill.  Somehow, we're all hanging on...

Rest  peacefully, my dear, dear friend.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  Love you....xoxoxoxo

 Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there. ~ Isla Paschal Richardson

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

nothing loved is ever lost...

You wiped away my tears.  You bandaged up my skinned knees.  You danced me around on your feet.  You taught me how to ride a bike.  You knew how to bring a smile to my face when I was sad.  You encouraged me to be the best that I could be.  You were always there to cheer me on.  You were my first love.  I was your little girl...

10 years ago the world lost a great man, and I lost my true hero.  I was there in your final days. I saw you  detailing your will.  I heard you whisper the words, "good bye", as you put your arms out for our last hug just days before you left us. I was there when Father McNally read you your last rites. But on the night of April 4, 2002, I wasn't there to see you take your last breath.  By the time I got there, you'd already passed.  What I wouldn't give right now to take that moment back - to not go out to the restaurant, but to go to the hospital, instead.  I regret not being there.  I regret not saying, "I love you", one last time.  I regret not kissing your forehead one last time.  I regret that you knew I wasn't there.  Maybe you didn't want me there because you knew how hard it was on me? On that night, your suffering was finally over, but ours was only beginning. 

Your loss is a void that will never ever be filled.  There's always a blank spot where you should be.  Every day I think about you.  Every day I'm  missing you.  Every day I love you.  You are so close in my mind and in my heart that I'm keeping you close to me.  As long as I have a memory of you - of your smile, your twinkle in your eye, your'll never really leave.  But I miss you. I'll always miss you.  Forever in my mind, and in my heart.  I love you, Dad...xoxoxoxoxo.

Don't think of him as gone away -
his journey's just begun
life holds so many facets -
this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing
that he could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost -
and he was loved so much.