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Saturday, 29 December 2012

It's been so long I almost forgot a title

Wowsers; it's been a long time.  Sometimes you get away from something for so long you wonder if you should bother returning (read: going to the gym, for example).  Or maybe that's just me (sure is for the gym example, anyway).  I started a few posts in the past few months. They're in drafts.  I removed a few more "personal" posts, after some prompting from someone very close to me. Probably smart, but that's not saying that I have not thought long and hard about starting up a brand new, completely annonymous blog that allows me to type whatever I want, uncensored and unfiltered.  Remaining annonymous would be key so I couldn't even tell you where to find me. Just look for a blog that speaks the truth - the hard, unbearable truth, and ask if it's me.  I probably won't tell though ;). 

So how're you all doing?  I trust you all had a good Christmas holiday?  Mine was lovely.  Lots of family time.  Chris' family was extended this year, so we split our time up as best we could to optimize time spent with them.  His grandmother, his two uncles and their wives (and one dog) joined his parents for Christmas  Eve, and Christmas Day.  Mom & Todd remained on the Island this year, so I opted to spend the majority of Christmas Day, including supper, at home this year while Chris was with his own family.  I did miss him, and his family (and his momma's delicious turkey supper), but realistically, who knows how many more Christmas' I'll have with momma, so the decision was easy.  Chris and I did share a special Christmas morning, though, complete with giddy-like-a-kid-can't-sleep-anymore-cuz-there's-presents-waiting-to-be-opened anticipation, and a breakfast including Todd's just-like-Dad-made-it stuffing with eggs, bacon, and coffee 'n Baileys (mmm, perfection), and I did join the W's much of Christmas Eve, and for a few hours Christmas night.  Boxing Day was spent jammy-clad, complete with a  Big Bang Theory marathon, and snugglin' with a movie by the light of the Christmas tree (more perfection).

Zoe hopes you all had a purrr-fect Christmas

As we embark on a new year ahead of us, I'm reflecting on all the goodness in my life, and I'm very thankful for all that I have, and am looking forward to a new year filled with new possibilities, and hoping for many more snugglin' with a movie kinda nights, and much more time spent with family and my closest friends.  I hope the magic of your own Christmas spent with those closest to you can also stay with you throughout the year ahead.  I'll try to be more diligent with the whole blogging thing, too.  You know I'm not that great with the resolution thing, but I'll try, just for you... xo.

Sunday, 15 July 2012

"Love in my eyes means you can't stand to spend the rest of your life with anybody else"*

(Better late than never, right?)

The setting is the gorgeous Curacao, and the top 3 choices for the fantasy suites (should they so choose) are for Sean, Arie & Jef-with-one-f.  Based on bare chests alone, I'd say Sean is the proper choice, but I know there's gotta be more than a hot chest to make a relationship work.  Besides, he hasn't told her he loves her yet, right? (*rolling eyes*)

Sean's date is up first, and they hop on a chopper to take in the beautiful sights of Curacao before landing on a private island {man that chest looks divine in that deep v-neck doesn't it?}.  They chatter about love & relationships, and though Emily is chompin' on the bit to hear those three little words, he instead suggests they go snorkelling.  A candlelit dinner on the beach and a verbal prompt from her, just wondering how he feels, prompts a letter that Sean composed for Ricki, provided it works out for the two of them.  The letter was super sweet, super eloquent, and it nearly brought a tear to my own eye. That letter's gotta make him a shoe-in for a spot in the final two, don'tcha think?  Finally, the foreplay is over, and Sean confesses what she's wanting to hear all this time, and she can then cross his name off the "Men that told me that they love me on the Bachelorette", list.  As if on cue, the offer to forego their individual rooms is on the table, and though she expresses her desire to stay up all night long with him (well duh! name me ONE woman in America who WOULDN'T!), she ends up sending him home, sans a-beddin'.

Jef-with-one-f's date is up next, and they head to a ship in the beautiful blue water {for the life of me I can't understand why Emily hasn't decided to put her hair up during these windy dates.  Watching her push the hair out of her lipgloss is getting so, so very old}.  They chat about how good of a parent Jef will be and they sail and kiss into the sunset.  Jef-with-one-f has long-confessed his love for her, so there's no doubt that he could be one of the final two.  They share dinner on the beach and talk about their potential future, and she confesses she'd move to whereever he was.  I think they kinda look odd together -he looks like her son, in my opinion, but I do like him.  He's very well-versed, very polite, and even though it appears to be a very Mrs. Robinson-esque affair, they do share a very strong connection {those damn crickets or whatever they hell they are are driving me effing bonkers!}.  Ever the gentleman, out of respect for Ricki and his own religious family, he opts out of the overnight part of the fantasy suite, a decision that Emily had already decided, and she was very delighted that they had shared the same view point.

 And finally, Arie's one-on-one date is upon us.  They chill out on a catamaran {oh my God there she goes again with the hair down and the wind whipping it around.  Pass the woman a scrunchie for Jebus sake} and swim with dolphins.  Every single chance she gets she confesses to the camera how much she looooovves kissing Arie.  The physical connection is there.  And she's already refused two 'overnight' rendez-vous so far, so she must be friggin horny by now.  They make their way to their dinner table {Arie, those skinny jeans are a complete fiasco and they make me question your preferences.  Really.}.  He toasts to them and to their "evening", complete with a wink, capitalizing on his smarm. To me, their conversation was awkward, and led me to believe that he's in no way, shape, or form ready to be a daddy.  Perhaps he feels that awkwardness too, because he steers the conversation back to "them" as a couple, which gives him time to conjure up how one earns a child's trust.  This seems to assure her that Ricki would love to be Arie's "best buddy".  And despite how much she looooovesss to kiss Arie, Emily's lust "inner struggle" results in her not even offering him the fantasy suite card because she couldn't trust herself {I sure hope she's not reading 50 Shades while on this journey}.

Obviously her inner struggle has even affected her fashion decision because she waltzes in for the rose ceremony in the most hideous of all get-ups that I've ever seen.  Mismatched jewels, a tinfoil skirt & a tank top just ready for a sweat at the gym.  Oh, and NOW she opts to put her hair up?  While she's inside?  All three men have recorded messages for her - all sincere, and she had a look of horror on her face through each one.  To all of America's horror, though, in the end, she chose smarm over charm, and sent Sean packing.  I have one question, and one question alone:  "WHY!??!!?".  And, I look very forward to a return of gorgeous Sean in his own season of the Bachelor.

*Quote from Sean, and perhaps the leading line for the next season of the Bachelor?  Hey Chris Harrison, are you reading?

Thursday, 12 July 2012

just what DO you have?

Because I'm all kinds of lazy I didn't have a lunch to bring with me today.  Because I know that I've been putting too much crap in my body I opted out of the more desirable cheeseburger and fries that I really wanted for a more sensible option of a sandwich for lunch today.  Because I wanted needed some retail therapy I opted for the ever-quick Tim Hortons drive-thru so I could order quick, eat quick, and get me to Reitmans. Because it was effin' HOT I thought I'd try that new frozen lemonade to go with my ham & cheese on whole wheat.  So I place my order... "I'm sorry ma'am, but our machine is down for cleaning so I can't get you a frozen lemonade" (might I remind you that today might have been the hottest day on record of the summer so far. But it was down. For cleaning.  Right.).  Ok. Without batting an eye, I then opted for a smoothie.  "I'm sorry ma'am, but our machine is down so I can't get you a smoothie, but we do have iced capps, lattes, etc".  Ok. So even though my heart was set on lemonade, I opt for the iced capp, because it was effing hot and I wanted something cold.  I get to the window.  I flash my debit card at the lady taking my money.  She hands me their debit machine (how the heck did we manage without that at Tims before, anyway?).  Just as I'm about to insert my card in the slot the lady says, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we're fresh out of ham (yeah I'm paraphrasing; pretty sure she wasn't completely Dr. Suess), but we have chicken, turkey, egg salad...." (are you effing kidding me?).   Thinking I really should have gone for that cheeseburger & fries, I sigh a little and accept the offer of the egg salad.  Least it wasn't processed meat, right?  She then said, "I'm just glad you didn't ask for a smoothie because our machine is down...".  I just sorta glared at her and said, "Honey, we already went down that road with the lemonade... and then the smoothie...".  She smiled meekly and said, "Well sometimes I don't hear the's your sandwich, have a good day now".  Looking at the skanty sandwich before me, I'm pretty certain that the next person to order an egg salad sandwich was about to here, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we're out of eggs".  I think they just rubbed the bun over the remnants of what was left of the egg salad mix and threw a brown leaf of lettuce on top to avoid saying, 'I'm sorry ma'am', to me one more time.  I did get to Reitmans though, and returned to work a little hungry, but a new outfit in hand, so the lunch hour wasn't all bad.

Saturday, 7 July 2012

public service announcement

Counting the fat/calorie content in the snack that your girlfriend just consumed after you've returned yourself from an arduous calorie-burning bike ride is NOT cool.  Claiming your persusal was merely curosity of wondering how long you'd have to bike to burn off the snack you didn't eat doesn't make it any better, either.  Just sayin'.

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

bad hair days and full moons seem to go together

Written at 11:30am this morning:

So, so far today I showered without a problem but before I had my finger on the button to press my hairdryer on the freaking power went out. It stayed out til 5 mins before I had to leave before I'd be REALLY late to get to work.  So I had to air dry my lovely coiff, and now it has so much product in it my head feels greasy (and I tried to run the flat iron over it when the power finally came back on in that quick 5 minutes when there was too much product in it and that was just a bad, bad, bad idea).  On account of there being no power I could not have my first coffee of the day - which is very, very important for me to have in my system prior to starting my work day (my coworkers and any customer that I come into contact can attest to that).  So now my hair looks like straw, my face feels like I smeared butter over it, and I smell like a combination of Tidestick & coffee creamer because I slobbered the one coffee I did have all over the front of my WHITE blouse.  And there's a full moon. And I'm only at my first break. Stellar.

Written at 2:20pm this afternoon:

I admit it, I'm a bit vain.  When you're trying to make people overlook your fluffy form you try your best to dress respectfully and have your general grooming in check.  For a while now, I've been treating myself to gel nails.  They make me feel like a lady.  And they help me keep from chowing down on my cuticles and nails (disgusting, gross, most non-ladylike habit of all time).  This evening I have an appointment for a fill.  They're in pretty rough shape.  As I make the motion to enter my car door at lunch, I somehow manage to jam my middle left finger nail under and up and over the door handle, instantly snapping my entire nails off.  Yes, nails.  That would mean the fake gel overlay, and the human nail underneath.  Clear off in one giant searing painful motion.  And then the blood.  Sweet baby Jesus the blood.  Oh and did I mention the pain? It felt like I had cut the tip of my finger off.  It throbbed and I bled through the first bandaid.  Yeah.  So my nail appointment is post-poned til next week.  And typing sorta hurts now so I'm going to stop.

Written at 8:45pm tonight:

Well, so I made it back to my house alive despite the near miss of the red Dodge that apparently wanted to try to get closer to me (watch where you're going, MORON!).  My feet are soaking and my finger is still throbbing.  I have no coffee for the morning but I don't dare risk going back outside.  It's almost dark and the moon is almost shining.  Besides, I'm having a bad hair day anyway.

Monday, 2 July 2012

"I just want her to hold a gun all night long"

Well, well, well, I can hardly contain my excitement!  It's hometown night!  Julie, Erin & Tanya are visiting the 'hood with me too, so I'll have some guest commentators.  I told them I had to blog about this as we watched because there was no way I could watch it twice.  And here we go....

Thank goodness we get the sh!t overwith first, and we have Chris' hometown date at the beginning.  The setting is Chicago. To ease the jitters, Chris takes her to a pub where they recap his meltdown last week over a beer.  {Erin thinks he has beautiful eyes.  The other girls are more concentrated on her teeth.  They say veneers over a flipper.  Whatever, there's something fake goin' on in that mouth}.  Onward to the Polish homestead.  His dad assures Emily that Chris likes children to play the Ricki card.  Chris' blonde sister played the overprotective, don't-mess-with-my-brother role, and they share a private moment complete with shared pink lipstick after Chris tells her he loves her.  The perfect end to a perfect evening?  Why a Polish polka party, of course!  (It really was as unexciting as it sounds).

Jef-with-one-f hails from Utah, home of the fundamentalist Mormans.  Skater boy shows he's way more country than appearances indicate. He takes her for a ride in a dune buggy thing & skeet shooting before onward to meet his family - which turns out to be just his many brothers and sisters.  His many. many brothers and sisters (those Mormans like to spawn don't they?).  One of his many brothers shows concern whether or not Jef is ready to jump right into being a father right away {if he'd been watching the show at all he'd know that's a nail in the coffin for Jef}.  His sisters seem to welcome her, and overall, despite the fact that ma and pa weren't there, it seems that this hometown was a good 'un.  They steal away for some alone time where Jef reads her a little love letter and they share some very juicy romantical kisses.  I like this guy.

I'm a little surprised that Arie wasn't the last date of the evening, but next up is a visit to Phoenix and the racetrack, and Arie.  They share a few laps in Arie's Indy car and some wine while Arie warns her that she has her work cut out for her to win over his mother.  They gather at Arie's homestead and not long after her arrival his momma begins chatting with Arie in Dutch {hey, Momma Arie, that's rude in our homeland}.   Despite an awkward start with the language barrier the date seemed to go smoothly enough and she was granted Arie's parents' blessing.  I still don't trust this guy.  I don't know what it is. I liked him at first, but now, I think she can do better. Way better.

Sean's date has been saved for last, and we're now in Dallas.  Sean introduces her to his dogs, and picks her a bouquet of wild flowers before bringing her home to his momma.  She fits right in to the pretty family {did you SEE that freaking playhouse complete with air conditioner?}. He plays a practical joke on her (and all 4 of us were mouth open in complete horror) as he claims to still live at home and takes her up to his 'room', complete with dirty socks, stuffed animals & cookie crumbs.  Every woman in North America shared a huge collective sigh of relief as he confessed that it was all a joke. Talk about an ice breaker.  {Julie is pushing for a big win for Sean, but Tanya figures he's going to be the next Bachelor (I wouldn't mind that)}.  The family embraced her with open arms, and Sean chased her moving vehicle for one last kiss.  I like this guy, too.

And to NO surprise to anyone, she FINALLY sends Chris packing.  He's all a twitch and I dare say we may not have seen the end of this guy.  I fear he may be one of those 'surprise' returning guests who stalk their rejector.  Hey Chris, take note, just because you love her doesn't mean she HAS to love you back.  Best part of the whole episode.  Agree?

Alternate post title:  "Who knew that Jef in his skinny jeans would have been such a good shot?"

Monday, 25 June 2012

"If I don't get a hometown date, I'll be scared for anybody around here"

The pressure's on folks - it's the week before the hometown dates.  There's 3 one-on-one dates and one group date tonight, and Emily and men are in the city of Prague.  Arie is chosen for the first alone date.  They tour the streets of Prague, with Emily as the chosen tour guide.  Her main goal of the date is to get to the bottom of a "secret" that she knows about, but he doesn't yet know that she knows. The secret is a past romantic relationship that Arie had with one of the shows producers; the producer herself confronted Emily {that's totally a flipper}. As the truth unfolds, it turns out the 'relationship' was very, very brief, and happened 10 years ago.  Arie didn't feel that it was worth revealing because it was so brief and so long ago, and Emily decides she was overreacting.  The date ends with super-schmoozy Arie confessing that he's fallen in love with her, and if he already wasn't a shoe-in for tonight's rose, that sealed his fate.

John "Wolf" is the lucky winner of the 2nd alone date.  They draw on the Lennon Wall, and she confesses she has to find her "romantic connection" with John.  From the Lennon Wall, they head to the lock gate and seal their fate with securing a lock to the gate.  The lock is a symbol of their love.  Lo and behold, they struggled to get the lock locked.  Foreshadowing for John's demise?  We shall see.  They head into the depths of a dungeon and share a candlelit dinner.  He looks awkward and nervous until he opens up about how the last relationship he was in ended because the gal cheated on him - complete with tear-filled eyes.  Careful, Johnny....sign of vulnerability, or a sign that you still love the old trollop?  He walked away with confidence, however, after planting a smooch on her kisser.

The date card arrives to notify those chosen for the group date, and Sean, Chris & Doug are the chosen ones. Chris sulks like a CHILD.  Sean runs through the steets of Prague yelling out Emily's name (wtf?)....but, he ends up finding her, and steals some one-one-one time (and some hot kisses).  Before we know it, the group is off and running.  They are swept up in a horse and carriage ride up to the top of a mountain and to an ancient castle. Emily and Doug share some time together, and Emily bemoans that he's not fighting for her and not touching her or kissing her enough, and she sends him on his way back to cuddle with his son. OH! Yep, and we get another ugly man cry to boot.  Sending him home makes it a little easier on Emily to share herself, and both Sean and Chris are more than happy to split their alone time in half instead of thirds.  Chris relays his displeasure for being picked for just the group date {which I HOPE nails his coffin}, even though he says he's not going to "dwell on it" {ORLY Chris, then why bring it up in the first place?  I can't stand that guy}.  Emily gives the date rose to Sean, and once again, Chris' rage was overly apparent {If I was Emily I might be concerned about this one's temper...}.

If you've done the math, you'll know that Jef-with-one-f is the recipient of the final one-on-one date for the week. They test out somne marionettes, and enact their 'feelings' for each other with the puppets.  They discuss their families, what to expect for 'hometown', and even marriage, and kids.  He's totally smitten with her and it shows.  He'll definitely get a chance to show her his stompin' gounds.

Because the guy is SUCH a DONKEY!
As the cocktail hour is about to begin, Emily approaches Chris Harrison to tell him she had already made her mind up,so she didn't need a cocktail hour, and we get right to the nitty gritty and the handing out of the roses.  Chris B freaks out because he needed an opportunity to make up for being an ASS on their group date, so he interrupts the rose ceremony just ahead of the final rose being distributed, begs for some alone time, bawls like a baby, and this ultimately leads onward to him receiving the final rose, and the Wolfman being sent home.  As she said good-bye to Wolf she seemed sincere in her decision but I can't help but wonder if Chris B's waterworks was indeed a deciding factor...then again, that lock wouldn't lock though, right?

Hometowns are just 7 days away folks - and hey, aren't you proud that I posted this on time tonight?  A huge accomplishment indeed.  Happy Monday :)

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

"if Ryan is the next Bachelor, then the bachelorette is a mirror"

This week we see the beautiful views of Croatia as Emily readies herself for some alone time with the boys, sans Ricki to offer a distraction inbetween.  Emily surprises the pack by dropping by their domain to hand Travis his one-on-one date card in person.  They waltz around the city hand in hand and eat a cone of ice cream.  It's a good thing they did have ice cream, because before the poor guy has a chance to eat his supper she picks up the date rose only to tell the guy why she can't give it to him.  Apparently she isn't feeling the romance, so it's better that she does send him home rather than keep him there hanging on.  We were then witness to a male ugly cry. Oh, and by the way Travis, the throwing down of the umbrella in the pouring rain was very metaphorical to explain your feelings.  Nice touch.

The group date is next, and it's a good 'ol fashion movie date.  The daters are treated to a showing of Pixar's new movie, Brave.  I guess the movie was a preparation for the boys to set up their own rendition of the Highland games, complete with kilts. By far the best scene of the season was the camera panning over their beefy chests as they changed out of their datewear into their highland gamewear.  And of course, we can all leave it to our own imaginations whether or not they truly wore those kilts the way they were intended ;).  I'm no athelete, but even I know that Chris' attempt at archery was alllll shades of wrong, and I really felt he was in danger of knocking himself in the head with the log.  Despite the fact that he was clearly the least athletic of all there, to everyone's surprise, including his own, he was picked as the 'winner' of the games by Emily because he showed the most bravery by giving it his "all".  It felt like she was crowning the winner of the Special Olympics (oh my did I just type that out loud?  Yeah. I guess I did).  And man, she's just FULL of surprises tonight isn't she?  Not only did she hand Chris the bravery cup, but she also handed him the date rose.  Perhaps he's showing her a different side than what he's showing the viewers?  *shrug*

Ryan-the-Super-Douche was given the final one-on-one date, and we can only hope that she selected both he and Travis to similarly seal their fates.  They head off on a drive where he assures her that he's an excellent driver because he, "doesn't get into accidents", and all the while the Croatians are honking their horns left, right and center at him (I guess even his driving is douchy).  They give the car a rest and go oystering.  He of course is very encouraging for her to try her first oyster.  After all, they are an aphrodesiac, right?  She spits it off the side of the boat, and if we're talking metaphors again, perhaps that's the metaphor of how she rejects him? (oh please, oh please, oh please!).  Again on the date, the topic of him wanting her to be his 'trophy wife' comes up, and as they embark on their evening supper she shows up head to toe in gold, just like a trophy.  Despite the fact that Ryan wore shoes that matched the colors of the turquoise candle holders on the table, she disappoints him by telling him why she can't give him the rose tonight.  I gotta hand it to him though, he did his damndest to try to manipulate her into changing her mind.  Fortunately, she's a woman of strong character, and she held firm, and Douche pitter-pattered in his turquoise slippers down the stone path to the car awaiting. 

Arie, who'd previously been pouting on his group date that he hadn't had any alone time with Emily since London, surprises Emily later that evening to 'comfort' her again.  They suck some more face, and she hands him Ryan's dejected rose to assure him that he's in no fear of leaving this week.  I'm not entirely sure what I feel about this guy.  He seems he?  At the rose ceremony she stays true to her word, and, to the surprise of all the remaining 6, she asks Chris Harrison for another rose so she can hand every remaining guy one, sending no one else home.  That Em, we just never know what she's planning, eh?  At least this evening, I'm pretty much in agreement with her decisions :).

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Friday, 15 June 2012

"London's calling"

Across the waters into London England we go, and I have one more week of catch up.  Sean is given the first one-on-one.  They tour areas of royal sightings and happenings before a picnic in the park. (WHY have I not noticed how hot this guy is before??)  His definition of love, spoken outloud in front of a huge group of strangers, almost gave me goosebumps. {I totally just figured out the silhouette on the sign-on's not Emily and another's Emily and RICKI.  Of COURSE.  D'uh!}  They enjoy dinner in a prison in the London Tower - with Sean being her "prisoner of love".  {Who was in charge of her makeup for this date?  Her face is TOTALLY a different colour than the rest of her.  Tsk, tsk.}  The rose being handed to Sean caps off the date as they kiss outside of London Bridge.  He'll be around for a while.

Stratford-Upon-Avon is the setting of the group date, and the guys have the task of reenacting scenes from Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. Suddenly high school English doesn't seem so long ago as I can almost quote a variety of soliloquies myself.  Kalon, once again, proves his douchebaggery as he shoos Emily away, citing his need to practice lines for his "performance" ("you can run along...").  Much to everyone's delight, it's an actual dress-up performance (and Arie in his white tights takes the cake for best dressed, in my opinion).  Of course Ryan of all the men was chosen to be Romeo and he had the one and only kissing scene. We can only hope that he's afflicted with whatever ailment has affected Emily's throat.

The heat turns on Kalon as the term 'baggage" floats around the room in relation to Ricki, and Ryan dutifully calls it out to Emily.  Instead of ripping Kalon's limbs off and beating him with them, she confronts him with it in front of the group, even going so far as interrupting Kalon with the lines that he'd used on her already (good on ya, Em!), and then tells him to get the F@$K out!  He never had a hope to end up at the end anyway.  Best scene of the season, so far, by the way.  She stiffs the remaining group daters by telling them she isn't handing out the group rose date because they didn't speak up for her and have her back as Kalon was insulting her kid.

Jef-with-one-f is finally awarded a one-on-one opportunity after having only gone on group rendez-vouses.  They have afternoon tea in true, traditional London fashion.  Jean, an etiquette teacher joins them as the biggest fifth wheel in Bachelorette history.  They duck out on the tea and head to a pub for fish, chips, and a big 'ol pint of ale (take that, Jean).  They appear to get along swimmingly and she gives him the date rose without hestitation, prompting the kiss that they've never shared before.

Off for a new search for love is Alejandro.  I'm off to finally collapse into my comfy cozy bed.  I may not even rise to the sound of the alarm tomorrow. Nite y'all ;)

Alternate post titlea:  "Thouest SUCK"; "I wanted to go West Virgina hood rat, backwoods, on his ass"

Thursday, 14 June 2012

"the tongue is a double-edged sword"

Who'm I kidding anyway?  No network would ever give me the privilege of blogging about the Bachelor/Bachelorette because I never.get.this.done.on.time.  And now I have the task of trying to watch two shows in a row to play catch up before I end up 3 weeks behind...  I'm nearly at the end of a week's vacation.  Chris & I have decided to spruce up the mini-home so we've been painting the past three days.  As a result, I've run a little behind on the blog, the internet in general, and of course my favourite programs.  I'm exhausted and have a heating pad on my siatic so figured it was as good a time as any to tune into some recorded programming.  The glory of it all, despite being 2 weeks late, is the ability to fast forward through the commercials so I can optimize all this Bachelorette loveliness as quickly as possible.  And, I'm hoping that typing on the laptop will try to trick me into forgetting that there's a bag of ketchup chips on the table calling my name......

The June 4th episode begins with a change of locale, and the pretty blues/greens of  Bermuda light up my big screen tv.  Maybe with the change in scenery we can look forward to a little more excitement this week?  (Nope).

Doug is treated to the first one-on-one date.  The boys razz him up, and he displays a bit of a potty mouth.  Luckily Emily arrives just in the nick of time to have them embark upon their date. In what can only be described as a wonderful coincidence, the two are wearing color-coordinated attire.  They walk about the town and do a bit of shopping.  He talks about the importance of being a good dad, and how he started up his own charity.  {She totally should have worn her hair up on this date. Bermuda is windy.}  He's cute. And I totally want to see him with a shirt off.  They send off a postcard to Doug's son and then share a romantic dinner.  {Jebus Emily, again with the comparisons to Brad??!  The only thing Doug shares with Brad is the colour of his hair}. Before a little agonizing over Doug being too perfect, she gives him the rose. {Was anyone else just a liiiiittle bit creeped out by Doug talking about himself in the third person before the commercial break, or was it just me?}

The group date sails away with a friendly sailboat racing competition.  The group is split into two, and they race the high seas.  The winners are awarded extra time with Emily and the losers have to go back to the hotel.  {God I want those chips.}  The date continues just after showing the losing team in their ride back to the hotel, { Charlie....CRYING?  Wow.} then a toast to Emily, Ryan's "trophy wife" {um. Emily, if you haven't already figured this out - send him home.  He's pretty, yes. But he's a douche}.  Arie steals some alone time on the beach and before we know it, they're sucking face.  Jef chickens out on his kiss-kiss opportunity with his alone time, and Ryan proved his douchery more and more with his.  Kalon appeared to get no alone time (yay), and Jef is awarded the rose of the evening.

The next date is a two-on-one where one stays and the other is sent packing.  Nate & Wolf are the lucky ones, and as they dive off a cliff I dive into those chips (you knew I would).  The two boys say they're just too nervous to eat so they forgo their dinner plates for their one on one.  Nate talks like he's already the chosen one to go home, and wait...what? MORE tears?  Yeah.  Wolf exuded much more confidence, and Emily confirmed Nate's worst fear and gives the rose to the Wolfman.

{Um. Jef?  What was with the blue knee socks, buddy?  Is that a trend I'm not aware of??}

Going home:  Charlie (it's like she saw the scene where he cried after losing the sailing race), and Michael (there goes my idea that he was the long-haired Fabioesque guy in the shadows of the sign-on picture).

Next up, London!  I wonder if they'll see the Queen?

{I totally ate too many chips}

Saturday, 2 June 2012

"I don't like tall, skinny and condescending"

I am late again; thankfully I have on-demand so can still keep on top of those important things like The Bachelorette.  Chris gets the first one-on-one date and Emily lets him know that they have a dinner date to get to, assuring him they have the "best view" in town.  And suddenly, we're back to regular Bachelorette-fashion, and the metaphor of life and how it's the exact same as climbing a tall building as they slowly climb their way skyward via a thin rope under a sky of lightning {though, I didn't see much rain, did you?}.{and no, Chris, love isn't really like climbing a building, but, did the directors tell you to comment that?}  Chris does his best to convince Emily that he is a perfect match for her, despite the fact that he's only 25, and she asks if he'd like the rose, despite some earlier reluctance on her face.  They end their date dancing to some country song on the street courtesy of a live country street party.  It's bound to be love.  {the bigger she smiles, the more I'm convinced that's a flipper}

The group date gets a special surprise as they meet some of Emily's bestest friends who give them all the third degree. Jebus, I didn't know the egg had a name.  "Shelly" - yeah, that's witty.  Does anyone else believe that "Wolf" didn't cheat before?  If Sean doesn't happen to make the cut, I think Emily has a friend who will gladly 'entertain' him.  After the grilling ended, suddenly Emily blows a whistle and a crowd of rugrats flood the playground {God I'm bored}, so Emily can get a bird's eye view of how the men see how the pretty boys interact with them {a true 'father test, right?}.  Ryan steals away for some alone time {maybe he really doesn't like kids and needed to get away?}, but then commented something along the lines of making sure she didn't get fat after children or some such thing?  Suddenly he's very, very ugly in my eyes. Very.  Tony has a mini-meltdown as he misses his son, and Emily does the right thing and sends the poor guy home.  No point in stringing him along when he could be spending QT with the little fella.  And Emily's bestie had best cool her loins just yet, because Sean walks away with the group rose for the night.

Arie is selected for the final one-on-one date  {I was happy he was selected, mostly so I could see Kalon sulk because it wasn't his date}. Pretty sure Arie was looking forward to something to do with racing after he read his date card, but, nope, no racing - they fly to Tennessee on a private plane and go to Dollywood instead, complete with a surprise entrance of Dolly herself {"It's Dolly Friggen Parton; I could die"}.  Dolly's had enough plastic 'assistance' she looks like she could be Emily's mother.  Dolly indicates she sees a potential something in Arie and Emily, and I have to admit, too, that there does appear to be a connection.  As no surprise to Dolly (despite an attempt to joke), Emily gives Arie the rose.

At the cocktail party, Kalon proved his capital-D douchery to a TEE as he interrupted her so he could keep talking, and then revealed that he wanted his first kid to be his own, and not another man's. Egg-guy takes "Shelly" over to Emily and tells her he thinks it's "time" for Shelly to be broken, and the poor egg is smashed onto the ground.  Alessandro is granted some one-on-one conversation, and he admits that having a relationship with someone who had a child to be a 'compromise'....  Surely her choices for the evening should be extremely easy... {well I guess one choice was after seeing Alessandro being put in the limo even BEFORE the rose ceremony. Hahaha!!! And, as an aside, I loved the kissy time she had with Arie as he 'comforted' her in her descision}.

Getting a rose that SHOULDN'T have:  Ryan-who-is-now-ugly-because-he-doesn't-like-fat-people, Wolf-who-we-know-from-his-body-language-has-cheated, and Kalon-the-douche.  WTF, Emily???

I say this every season, but, again, I don't think I can get through this entire season...... Are YOU still watching?

Thursday, 24 May 2012

"If you have Louis Vuitton luggage, and you're a dude, then you're an...."

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaccckkkkk!!!!!!!

Thank heavens another season of the Bachelorette is starting so I can dust off this ol' blog again (again, never my intention.  Life is apparently getting in the way of my day to day drivel.  Perhaps I ought to approach a network to see if they want a professional blogger to cut up the drama on a weekly basis?).  So this season, we have Emily Maynard, famous for winning the heart of Brad Womack.  To no one's surprise, that love affair ended, so now she's out to try her luck again, and in her hometown so she can be close to her daughter.  Some early observances from the opening episode:

-I honestly don't think I'll be able to get through another season listening to her voice and that effing fake laugh...(hashtag#onmyverylastnerve if I was a tweeter).
-some other observations about this season's Bachelorette that I didn't observe because I was too busy dissing Brad: aside from her obvious beauty, does she wear a bump it in her hair?  And also, there's something about her that a FLIPPER?? (I'm always so adept at finding flaws in otherwise beautiful people ;))
-at first I thought it was too early in the game to list observations of specific people yet, but what the EFF - faux-hawk freak with the egg? Are you for REAL?
-and Kalon is a wiener.  I don't need more time to figure that out.
 -this season's sign-on silhouette reminds me of two women with long, flowy hair - there is a dude with long Fabio-esque locks....foreshadowing for the end, perhaps?  Or maybe toward the end she comes out of the closet to confess her love of the ladies?

{Seeing as I was too lazy to pretty this up and actually get it out there before another week was upon us, you get a super-post with two weeks worth of drama....}

Week 2...
Date 1 and a one-on-one was awarded to Ryan, the hot personal trainer (hey, Ryan, if it doesn't work out for you here, feel free to hop on a plane to Atlantic Canada - I sure could use a personal trainer).  One thing that stuck out on this date for me was the way she said, "You're gonna help me unload groceries"; "You're gonna make cookies". Realllllly?  He's 'gonna', eh?  What happened to the good 'ol manners of the sweet South?  Would a little, "How would you like to...", or, "Would  you mind terribly if I asked you to....".  And please, can you PLEASE stop comparing this guy to Brad.  Shaaaaaaaaaaades of different, my sweet dear.  Oh, and P.S., was a PINK dress.  Fuschia, actually.  You can feel free to take your shirt off anytime, though.

The group date was fun. Who doesn't enjoy the Muppets?  Plus the proceeds went to charity:  win, win.  The alone time she shared with the various men on the group date seemed awkward to me.  And seriously, how many glasses of wine were consumed prior to these clips were taped, anyway?  The early jealousy was unattractive, too.

Date 2 - with Joe, and a proclaimed "Matt McConaughey" look-a-like?  Um no, Emily. Maybe Dawson. Not Matt.  I think I was just as confused as he was when she broke into tears and let him go.

The cocktail hour was all very 'meh' to me, but I must admit that I am enjoying the banter amongst them as they unload their collective distaste for Kalon.  Thank goodness ya'll are here with me for the ride - not sure I could last the whole season if it wasn't for you guys.  Stay tuned. We're almost at another Monday already :).

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

"just be nice"

Sometimes when life gets you down, you can turn into a bitter soul who hates the world.  You wallow in your own self pity.  You think that everyone is out to get you.  You can interpret things incorrectly... Today I received a message that kinda hurt my feelings.  Instead of lashing out at the person I opted to say nothing. Then I stewed about it all day.  Perhaps I wasn't being fair to myself, but I kept coming back to three little words my dad always said. 

"Just be nice". 

When things are beyond your control - when you want to yell and scream and slap someone silly for being so clueless - take the higher road.  Be the bigger person.  Just be nice.  Adding to the stress and negativity won't help, in the long run.


*Ok, so maybe I'm still slightly stewing, and I still think that if I could yell and scream a few obscenities I'd feel better.  I'll get over it though.  And Dad, I'm trying my best to stand true to your wisdom.  You also always said, "You'll feel better after a good night's sleep".  I think I shall go turn the covers of the bed down.

Thursday, 5 April 2012

wastin' away again in Margaritaville

Again proof that God only takes the best... and too, too soon.  We lost Corey 8 years ago today.  He was way too young to know the kind of suffering that his poor body experienced in the end.  He had so much more life to live... Some things, I'll just never, ever understand....

He had the biggest smile that could light up the darkest of rooms.  He was kind-hearted, generous, and loved to have a good time. I miss his smile.  I miss his laugh...

Every time I hear Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville I immediately think of Corey - and my mind drifts back to a happier time, when we were all together, dancing up a storm in a circle.  Your circle of friends will never be whole again, Corey.  You've left an opening that no one will ever be able to fill.  Somehow, we're all hanging on...

Rest  peacefully, my dear, dear friend.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  Love you....xoxoxoxo

 Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there. ~ Isla Paschal Richardson

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

nothing loved is ever lost...

You wiped away my tears.  You bandaged up my skinned knees.  You danced me around on your feet.  You taught me how to ride a bike.  You knew how to bring a smile to my face when I was sad.  You encouraged me to be the best that I could be.  You were always there to cheer me on.  You were my first love.  I was your little girl...

10 years ago the world lost a great man, and I lost my true hero.  I was there in your final days. I saw you  detailing your will.  I heard you whisper the words, "good bye", as you put your arms out for our last hug just days before you left us. I was there when Father McNally read you your last rites. But on the night of April 4, 2002, I wasn't there to see you take your last breath.  By the time I got there, you'd already passed.  What I wouldn't give right now to take that moment back - to not go out to the restaurant, but to go to the hospital, instead.  I regret not being there.  I regret not saying, "I love you", one last time.  I regret not kissing your forehead one last time.  I regret that you knew I wasn't there.  Maybe you didn't want me there because you knew how hard it was on me? On that night, your suffering was finally over, but ours was only beginning. 

Your loss is a void that will never ever be filled.  There's always a blank spot where you should be.  Every day I think about you.  Every day I'm  missing you.  Every day I love you.  You are so close in my mind and in my heart that I'm keeping you close to me.  As long as I have a memory of you - of your smile, your twinkle in your eye, your'll never really leave.  But I miss you. I'll always miss you.  Forever in my mind, and in my heart.  I love you, Dad...xoxoxoxoxo.

Don't think of him as gone away -
his journey's just begun
life holds so many facets -
this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing
that he could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost -
and he was loved so much.

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

something about a red flag

It's the final week, and Ben's down to his final two choices for the "love of his life".  Lindzi or Courtney?  The setting is beautiful Zermatt, Switzerland, and Ben brings his momma and his sister to help him with his tumultuous decision.  Ben's sister begins the evening with a bit of foreshadowing, perhaps, with her definition of red flag:  "the girl that generally doesn't get along with the other girls"... That's right!!  We need you to talk some sense into your brother before it's too late!

Lindzi-with-a-zee is the first to meet the fam and she has a very hard time keeping her fork in her hand.  Obviously her nerves and the stress of it all are getting to her, as her makeup is a little extra thick trying to hide that big-ass chin zit; despite her attempts, it's still showing.  Thankfully she opted for a light pink lipstick as opposed to the sugar-donut blend.  She did okay though, securing sissy's doubts about the red flag girl, and ultimately getting her seal of approval.  Did anyone else notice the disappointment in Ben's face and voice when he got the news that Lindzi was a keeper in Julia's eyes?

Courtney is up next and she immediately gets her defenses up, blaming the other girls being too 'judgey' on the dissention amongst them, trying to save herself from their criticisms and concerns. In true Court-the-manipulator fashion, she then turned on her 'sweet' side, and declared her undying love for Ben.  At first I thought Julia was smarter than that. I thought her spidey sense knew better, and I was cheering her on for creating doubts in Ben's mind...only to have her declare that she'd learned a hard lesson in not judging a book by its cover.  Did all the rest of America collectively GAG with me in that moment of time??  What the eff?? What about that ref flag, Julia??

So basically we all know at that moment who he'll choose since he got the family "approval", and Lindzi-with-a-zee's final date is just a formality.  He whisks her off in a horse and carriage (hey, at least there was a horse, right?), and they have a picnic in a gondola high above the snow-capped peaks.  Is that another zit on your face, Lindzi?  Once this is all over with you should be able to get a better handle on your complexion.  Ben reassures Lindzi that she's doing really well opening up about herself and her feelings.  Atta boy, Ben, stick that knife in a little deeper.  She ultimately confesses her undying love for him, and outwardly accepts the proposal that she's never ever going to actually hear him say.

Courtney's final date is next, and of course, they take another helicopter. They fly over the Matterhorn and picnic beside a lake, make snow angels, and go sledding.  {GAWD her voice irritates me.  That stupid baby talk is nauseating. How is she a model, anyway?}  She seals her fate with a scrapbook and a love letter.  I hear she borrowed her "vows" for the mock wedding from Sex & the City. I wonder what 'inspiration' she used for the letter?  Maybe it was more SATC - I've never been a big fan, so I don't know (lemme know if anything sounded 'familiar', all you SATC fans).  They have a bit of a fireside chat, and a familiar mood erupts, as she lays on more of a guilt-trip regarding Ben discussing her "issues" with the other girls with his family.

America prays for a change of heart...he continues to mention how 'risky' proposing to Courtney might be, and alludes to a few doubts...  Realistically if he just opted to avoid proposing to either one, he could save face..........

He faces Lindzi first, declaring that he'd "fallen in love with her" but it wasn't enough to last a lifetime (can't you just see the new zits forming on her poor face?)...and in true desperation mode, she declares, "if it doesn't work out, call me".  Really?  Really? Did you really just say that?  He chose Courtney OVER you, and you'd actually consider giving him another chance down the road to be sloppy seconds?  Wow.

Knowing he has something to fall back on, he announces to Courtney that she's his "forever" and does get down on bended frickin' knee...

I give them a frickin' month.

Sunday, 11 March 2012


Today marks the day that we move our clocks ahead one hour for Daylight Savings Time.  It's my LEAST favourite day of the year.  I want my hour back.

We're supposed to be "springing forward" to welcome spring in all its warmth and glory.  Despite an unseasonably warm Thursday with a high of 10 Celcius, it was -10 last night as we hit the covers and immediately lost an hour of precious sleep as soon as we hit the pillow.  Each year I try to get to bed just an extra bit early to prepare for the loss, but, it seems that every year I don't make that a reality.  Last night was no exception.  So yeah, I'd like my hour back, please.  I might be slightly affected by the almost full bottle of Pinot consumption last night, but, I think I'd still be bemoaning that hour had I huddled under the duvet at 10pm.  Bah!  Least I had an extra day to the weekend, so that seems to have helped.  I had a great night out with some old friends last night, too.  We reminisced, and we laughed til we could barely breathe. There was a chocolate fountain. And there were cheesies (the big, fat, fluffy, melt in your mouth kind).  SO fun!   Now, despite a heavy head, the second load of laundry is churning, and I have Chris' momma's homemade turkey supper to look forward to in a few short hours.  So, I guess I was able to make the best of it, even if I wasn't able to grab a longer cat nap on the couch ;). 

What do you do to adjust to the time change?

Saturday, 10 March 2012

it's jus' not the same 'round these here parts

Well, I will absolutely admit that it was never my intent to make this blog solely about reality tv (namely, the Bachelor for gawd's sake...), it got that way on its own.  We can blame hectic scheduling, supreme laziness, the Home & Garden Channel (mmm...Bryan Baeumler), a mild addiction to Bejewelled, and the discovery of Pinterest.  I've been at this blog for a few years now, and I want to keep it going, so the weekly ramblings about the show have at least kept it alive.  So, yeah, thanks for sticking around.  For those who have given up on me, I'm sorry. 

So, what's new, you ask?  On a day by day basis, not a whole lot to be honest. We're still grappling with the idea of putting the mini-home up for sale to get into something larger.  Chris keeps saying "this is the year".  We've had the itch to move onward every spring, but this is the first time he's ever actually put a timestamp on it.  There's a whoollllle lotta getting ready to do to sell though.  Much decluttering...much staging...oh, and the small task of painting every frickin' wall in the joint.  After ample hours of HGTV behind me, I'd also really like to refinish the cabinets, change out the hardware, remodel the bathroom completely, and change the el cheapo light fixtures to maximize the sale potential, but, all of that is just typed words and thoughts.  Stay tuned to your inboxes, though friends, there might just be an upcoming painitng party invite on your horizon.  We'll pay in beer!  And we'll be your designated driver for the event!

The house today is quiet, aside from the sound of obnoxious snoring in the other room (hey, in a larger house, I suppose there's even the possibility that I could steal away to a space where I couldn't hear the snoring, huh?).  Chris just got back from a 2 week stint at a new warehouse that Hobbies is opening in Ontario.  Once again, leaving him at the airport brought me to tears. I did fine up til I got to the doors to leave. When did I become such a wuss?  I still blame hormones.  I did fine though.  I even shovelled.  That's a huge feat in itself.  Trust me.  The house stayed relatively tidy for the entire time he was gone.  I got caught up on a lot of sleep, and I managed to busy myself quite well for the whole time.  I just happened to have had yesterday as a scheduled day off (booking a float on a full moon Friday; yes, that was entirely my strategy), so I was able to pick him up at the airport.  So now, less than 24 hours later, the kitchen table is full, the blankets on the other couch are strewn, the laundry basket has grown exponentially, and I was back to stuffing both ears with ear plugs trying to will myself to sleep before he got onward to his next round of buzzsawing.  But it's all good.  It all feels right again despite all that.

I think I hear him stirring...and the snoring has stopped. Perhaps I ought to go grab another cuddle...

Looks like it's going to be a nice day out there -- hope you all enjoy a fantastic weekend, with your own cuddles to look forward to.

Monday, 5 March 2012

"You're like the chihuahua in the house; you just DON'T stop talking"*

Well folks, the popcorn is popped, the fireplace is toasty, I'm snuggled up under the cozy throw, and the ladies are about to hit the spotlight.  From the intro alone, I think I'm in for a fun evening. I'm pretty tired tonight, so I think this rundown will be pointform, so I can dash to bed as the credits roll (that will already be an hour past my 'bedtime').  Heeeere we go!
  • Yeah, so Bachelor Pad 3, eh?  And a return of Ed & Ali?  Bring it!
  • Ok I almost went to bed as soon as Samantha started yapping.  Thank GAWD she didn't last long in the house. Can't.stand.her.
  • Shawntel really must realize that she's way cuter than Erika, right? Cause she is.
  • WHY'D they have to go and replay that terrible 'kiss' with Jamie?  Once, again, it was all kinds of uncomfortable.
  • I think THIS season's Emily should be the next Bachelorette.
  • Who told Nicki that the toga-look was a good look for her, anyway?  Tonight's dress wasn't quite as bad as the rose ceremony dress - but it's close.
  • WHY is Kacie sporting .... sideburns?!? Sorta reminds me of Teen Wolf
  • Who is Casey S anyway?
  • I don't believe Courtney's remorse for one millisecond!  Nor do I believe her tears (err, the one tear that fell and stained her face). I did enjoy the barrage of hostility that she faced (truth be told I rewound it and watched it again).
  • The blooper reel was pretty funny.
Finale in 7 days, folks...muddy foundation and sugared lips aside, I'm rooting for Lindzi-with-a-zee. That, or the fact that he opts to pick neither one and heads back to the land of the boots & spurs to reclaim Nicki.  We shall see...  Bed's calling. Nite ya'll.

*Brittney to Samantha; there appeared to be a lot of chihuahuas on the show, though, huh?

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Happy Birthday Julie!

I'm happy to call the beautiful gal to the right one of my very, very best friends.  This is Julie, and she's celebrating a birthday today!  How I wish I could have joined in on the East Coast celebration last night in the Yukon with her! 

Julie, you're beautiful, inside, and out.  You're a wonderful friend.  Your smile brightens up the darkest of rooms.  Your laugh brings a smile to the grumpiest of grumps.  You deserve the utmost of happiness, and I hope the year ahead brings you more smiles, laughter and happiness than you can fit in your heart.  I love you dearly, my sweet, sweet, friend....xoxoxo

A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Today, we shall eat cake...

...for, it is a very special day.  My BonBon is celebrating a birthday!!!  Happy Birthday Jon.  He makes 50 look pretty freaking appetizing, wha?

Monday, 27 February 2012

"I'm a hot mess"

Here it is, the night we've all been waiting for...the top 3 ladies, and the overnight dates.  They have all flown to Switzerland for a romp, and the show begins as Ben recaps his feelings for the girls left standing: Nicki, Lindzi-with-a-zee, and Evil Courtney.  He expresses that he's, "motivated to ask questions he's afraid to ask, and dig deeper" (overnight dates, of COURSE he wants to dig DEEPER.  Okay, that was crass, right? Sorry).

Nicki's date is up first, and they hop on the chopper again and soar through the snow-capped alps, perching atop of one to sit for a quiet picnic.  Gotta admit, she appears pretty smitten... The sun sets, and they make their way inside a candlelit log cabin where they promptly decide to forego their individual rooms, and hunker down into the fantasy sweet amid candles, fire, bubbles and passion.  Boy oh boy is her heart going to be shattered if she's not the last woman standing...

Lindzi-with-a-zee with her powdered sugar lips is up next (of COURSE they again leave Evil C for the very end), and they begin their date repelling 300ft down into a gorge. I felt like I was going to barf just watching the camera pan downward.  Again, in true Bachelor-fashion, they bring back the famous metaphor of experiencing such a frightening undertaking proving how they can beat the odds and blah, blah, blah (insert HUGE eye roll)... and, a Bachelor first, Ben admits that he "loves" her during his camera time. Ben dons his crooked green bow tie, and they share supper, thoughts, and the overnight proposition (for the record, her hair looks like she already DID forgo her individual room).  If I have to hear how Lindzi is "vulnerable" one.more.freaking.time, I just might scream.

And finally, the third date, and a return of Evil Courtney.  The beginning of the date teases the audience as Ben indicates that he may have a slight misgiving about Courtney relating to the way she's treated other people...and they hop on a train, travel into Wengen, and purchase some picnic eats.  The chatter becomes a little awkward as the situation between Courtney and the other girls' relationships hits the forefront.  It even went so far as having Ben mention that he wanted to talk about it later because he wanted to enjoy the day.  It's likely just the network cleverly trying to make America feel that Courtney is finally getting the boot. As the date progresses and they have their evening 'chat' about the difficulties she's had he outright admits that the girl he has one-on-one time with is the 'girl he's falling in love with'...  Evil C apologizes and holds some accountability for her actions and Ben's ready to swish it all under the rug as he gets horned up awaiting her decision to forego her individual room (as if there was ANY doubt in the world that the skinny-dipping model would NOT jump at the chance to bare her ta-tas again and dig deeper herself!).
And the SHOCKER of the evening...a return of a dejected Kacie B, looking for answers.  She got a few, and planted a needed seed in Ben's head about Courtney's intentions, leaving him "utterly confused", yet he still kept her there, leaving toga-clad Nicki to walk her final walk of shame.  It's now down to Lindzi or Courtney.  He told America that he loves Lindzi-with-a-zee, and, he told Courtney personally that he was falling in love with her. Who he ends up with is anyone's guess; suppose it could be riding on who was the best individual room foregoer?  Next week's "Women Tell All" looks drama-filled, though!

All I really know after this episode is that I REALLY want to travel to Switzerland some day, and, I am seriously looking forward to watching the Titanic in 3D. And, I really don't care that Emily is our next Bachelorette.  You?

Thursday, 23 February 2012

just a few things

Things I'm pretty sure of:
- I could survive eating only breakfast foods for every meal
- I could leave the HGTV channel on all day and not be bored
- At some point in my life on earth I very well could be known as the 'cat lady'

Things I know:
-I'm SO anti-Glee
-and anti-vampire (Twilight? Vampire Diaries?  pfffffffffffffffft)

-hair feathers. Why? WHY?
-that "style" of having the arse of your pants hang just under your buttocks, sagging. WHY is that even possible? WHY?
-Uggs.  While I'm all about comfort (totally), and I actually even bought a pair of "mock" uggs a few years ago (because they were reported as "comfortable"), they're fugly. And they offer no more support than a pair of slippers.  Therefore, to me, they ARE just expensive slippers.
-high heels. I know I have the issue of weight not being on my side to support my ample plummage on a pair of tiny spikes, but c'mon, even the most daintiest of ladies can't tell me they're comfortable wearing them. I won't believe her.  I won't.
-Foursquare; aren't you just inviting someone to come into your home to burgle you of your bounty of electronics that you've already posted on Facebook?

Am I alone here, people???

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

"...and now, your families are involved..."*

And here we are, already at the hometown dates.

Lindzi-with-a-zee starts the night off and of course we're introduced to the real love in her life, and that is her horse.  They discuss her vulnerability, and despite the fact that her makeup is extra cakey, they suck face before trotting onward to meet her family.  The good Lord up above gave them a sign - they had their first date at the same location that her parents got married! Kismet??!  All jokes aside, it was a very natural date, and everyone appeared to be super comfortable.  Maybe it was the wine *shrug* (love the redneck wine glasses for the men, btw).

{Just when I thought her makeup couldn't get ANY worse, now I have to question not only the muddy foundation...but wtf is with that lipstick? She looks like she's been sucking on a sugar donut. Or maybe it was the marshmallows from the s'mores?}

Next up is Kacie B's hometown, complete with a welcome from a marching band, a baton-twirling Kacie B, and a sweet little love story about her grandparents that brought a tear to my own eye.

{I LOVE Kacie's cute little poncho jacket, don't you??}
Meeting Pa B. was outwardly awkward and uncomfortable.  Mama B. wasn't much better. If he feels he can't get their approval, why would that change his decision? Ultimately, if he feels that she's the 'one', what does it matter what ANYone else thinks or feels? 

{Jebus Freaking Chrisco, he needs a haircut. And soon. And maybe a degreasing treatment. Or - something. *shudders*}

Nicki and her skinny jeans greet Ben next, and they begin their date shopping for real-life cowboy boots and miscellaneous cowboy/girl accoutrements (the hat did NOT help the look of his hair. At all).  The conversation between Nicki and her overprotective daddy made me miss my dad so much.  And yeah, perhaps I even shed a tiny tear.  There, I said it. I cried whille watching The Bachelor.  Daddy gave his blessing and then Nicki again exclaims her love for him.  Could the warmer reception he received at this homestead push her over Kacie B?  Hmmm....

And finally, the "best" for last...we get to see where psycho-Courtney hails from...  I love that her own mother doubted her feelings of love at first.  However, despite the doubts her momma, and all of America might have regarding her intentions, and in her traditional "Fatal Attraction" fashion, she leads Ben to a quaint park setting where she arranged a 'mock wedding', complete with spontaneous handwritten 'vows', and they each describe their feelings toward one another.  Gotta say, if she doesn't end up the final girl standing, America may have some big fists punch-ready for declaring some of the things he did declare. I suppose it could all be summed up as 'heat of the moment', right? (Oh, and I am in NO way, shape, or form supporting a Ben/Courtney tryst, union, or the like.  Just trying to call it like I see it).
{Despite being back in her home soil, she still hasn't seen her esthetician}

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he dog-gone went and took Pa B.'s advice, and let Kacie go.  He fooled me too, Kacie.  We can only wonder if the cool reception at the homestead had something to do with it?  Or maybe the mock up wedding ceremony courtesy of Evil C?  You should be proud of appearing very poised and graceful through your final walk out...too bad you had to let go in front of the camera and display what I can only say was this seasons worst 'ugly cry' yet - complete with drippy, black eyes.  You'll find love some day, pet.  Perhaps your daddy will even love him, too.

*Alternate post title: "What the F@#& happened??!!!"

Saturday, 18 February 2012

"do you Belize in love?"

Better late than never, right?  I was sure to hold off on reading any spoilers or posts about this week's Bachelor to ensure my recorded episode was filled with surprise after surprise:

The setting is Belize - and the final kick at the cat before they take him home to momma. There are 3 one-on-one opportunities, and a group date with the remaining 3 girls. Of course there will be much drama, and probably even declarations of adoration and undying love...  Here we go....
  • Lindzi-with-a-zee gets the first one-on-one and they helicopter off so Ben can show her his blue hole. Er. I mean Belize's "Blue Hole".  She was a little scared at first, but her love for him was enough to give her the courage to jump off the 'copter and into the depths of the Hole (she still has TERRIBLE make-up, but she did score an extra point with me for declaring, "Hol-eeee Shitballs", after her big jump).  A romantic, candlelit dinner complete with a message in a bottle concludes their alone time. (GAWD her make up is TERRIBLE - and that descent down to the big blue whole must have come with a HUGE scream out of her, because she sounds like a troll by night's end).  Oh, and P.S. Lindzi -- your bra is showing!
  • Much to Courtney's disappointment (and her fake tears), Emily is given the second one-on-one.  They begin their day biking thru the village, shopping, diving (!?! WTF?) for lobsters, and end it dining on their catch, dancing and sharing their innermost feelings.  She appears to have made up for her earlier indiscretions of opening up about her thoughts on Court.
  • Unfortunately, Courtney was granted the final one-on-one date and they take off to a Mayan temple (Courtney really should have packed herself a pair of tweezers to help her ward off that unibrow inbetween visits to the esthetician). Her ability to give Ben a guilt trip on their date was astounding.  She gets my award for the most manipulative this season, as the two of them discuss her 'refinding' the spark. (Every time the camera pans to her face I find myself staring at the dark spot on her right eyebrow as the shadow of the unibrow comes in thicker and thicker). 
  • The 3 remaining gals are left to fend for themselves on the group date, and the only date rose available this week.  Rachel, Nicki & Kacie get an early wake-up call via Ben, and then they slip out onto the water as the sun rises above them before embarking on shark diving.  Rachel's parents probably should have vetoed her from watching Jaws, and I have to admit, I don't honestly agree with voluntarily diving into shark-infested waters, myself.  Her fears did, however, allow her to have a little extra Benny time.  Despite that, Ben still plays it safe, and ends up giving Kacie B the date rose (of course she's going to get a rose; she's Mrs. Ben), and the 3 pour their hearts out about how they feel about Courtney... (queue the suspenseful music...*duh duh DUH*....)
  • Free of a cocktail hour, the rose ceremony gets underway, with a little surprise one-on-one time with Courtney. Yay group date...did you get him to FINALLY open his eyes? Of courT not. *sigh*...ciao to  Emily and Rachel. You tried!  In a few short days we get to see the hometown dates and the final 3.  The suspense is just killing me.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Happy Birthday Cathy!

Happy Birthday to my big sister!!

© Cyndi Moore
Sister, we've been there through life's sorrow and pain
But together we have always endured the strain
We've argued and bickered and made each other mad
But if you weren't my sister, life would be so sad
We've cried till we laughed and laughed till we cried
Sometimes for no reason we didn't even know why
When we're not together our bond is just as strong
Because we are sisters we know when something is wrong
We've whispered our deepest secrets only sisters could share
I love my sister dearly because she really cares
So whether we are together or we are far apart
You're my sister, my friend and forever in my heart.

Source: My Sister, My Friend, Sister Poem
Family Friend Poems

Wishing you unending happiness and good times in the year ahead!  Love you! xoxo

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Be my Valentine?

Chris claims to hate this 'holiday'.  He feels it's over-commercialized, and vehemently despises the idea of setting aside one day in the year to say, "I love you", when a man should say it every day.  His heart is in the right place, I guess, but, that doesn't discount the fact that a girl likes to get flowers.  And it really sucks to see all the girls around her getting flowers, when she's NOT getting flowers :).  So yeah, while I agee with his sentimentality, I still don't see anything wrong with a little bit of extra lovin', pretty flowers, and yummy chocolates one day of the year :).

In years past, regardless of Chris' attitude about the holiday, we've celebrated in style all the same.  Here are a few of my favourite Valentine moments we've shared over the years:

-I arrived home from work to find Chris slaving away in the kitchen of our little apartment in Stratford, making me supper (this was, of course, before him cooking and me cleaning up supper became our "norm").  He had a copy of "The Notebook" and some chocolates (maybe a rose? I can't remember) on the table, too.  And after supper, he whisked me away on a surprise sleigh ride. It was a "Valentine" sleigh ride, and the hosts arranged for candlelit hot cocoa and a dessert in a quaint little room of their farmhouse. It was really, really awesome.
-I surprised Chris with a little Valentine getaway at a bed & breakfast.  We walked around some trails in the forest, enjoyed a dip in the hot tub, and were catered to a delicious supper and breakfast. It was heavenly and worth every single penny.
-One year I had to work til 9pm, and as it was on a weeknight I figured the whole idea of Valentines Day was a write-off, but to my surprise, Chris had picked up a bottle of wine and had gone through the trouble of melting chocolate to make some homemade chocolate-covered strawberries.
-A few years ago Chris had a photo shoot to do. Valentines Day fell on the weekend.  I can't remember if it was a Saturday or a Sunday, but he was gone 90% of that entire weekend.  He returned home with a bouquet of wooden red roses. He wanted me to have a rose that never died (his least romantic of all romantic gestures, but, in his own way, still cute).

So yeah, he says Valentines Day is all so very "meh", but, he still manages to make me feel like one of the most special gals on earth, and very, very loved.  This year, he arrived home with a bouquet of 12 red roses, and I made him supper, and we had a romantic, candlelit evening.  He didn't look at his iPhone ONCE!  So yeah, you can say you hate it all you want, Christopher, I think deep down inside you're more of a romantic than you think.  And I'm totally ok with that :).  Love you! xoxo

Monday, 6 February 2012

"I've got moves that they've never seen"

One of these weeks there will be a few extra posts in between the last Bachelor rant, I promise...

Here I sit, watching and blogging "as it airs"; I slept like crap last night, so the only thing keeping me awake is sitting upright with the laptop in my lap.  If this post ends up delayed you'll know that sleep won.  Ok, right down to it...we're in Panama City, Panama.  While visions of David Lee Roth play in my head, we see that Kacie B is the winner of the first one-on-one date, and they take a chopper ride to a deserted island and play Survivor.  You can't see him, but I'm sure Jeff Probst is in the background telling them how to cook a fish on an open fire and how to open up a coconut.  Kacie reveals that she grew up with an eating disorder, and after proving that they can 'survive as a team together' and reveal deep dark secrets, he hands her the rose that all of America knew was coming her way anyway.  She's the only one to get a 2nd one-on-one so far, after all.  Yes, yes, my prediction is the "B" in Kacie B does not stand for 'boring', but instead, 'Ben's bride'.

Even though we know Kacie will be the last girl standing, we do have a few more dates to get through, and next up is the group date where Ben whisks the girls to a modest motor boat and they go on a trip through the jungle, visit a local village, and frolic with the natives. They don the beaded dress of the natives, including Ben clad in a teeny little loincloth, and the girls in beaded tops and kercheifs 'round their midsection.  Of course Courtney has to live right in the moment, and she drops all her underthings, again revealing her ta-tas, and again, making me thankful for tv censorship.  Later on in the evening poor Jamie who has never even been kissed by Ben tries to fight for his attention on some 'one-on-one' time, as Courtney parades around in her bikini in the background.  In other news, Emily purports to have had regrets in telling Ben her 'feelings' about Courtney and attempts to be the bigger person and apologizes to Courtney.  Instead of accepting the apology graciously, Courtney ends up flipping out her left boob and smacking Emily upside the head with it (well, no, she didn't really, but it seemed like it, don'tcha think?).

{What the eff was Lindzie-with-a-zee WEARING during the group date evening?}

Rachel & Blakeley duke it out with the two-on-one date, where there's one rose, and where one goes home...  The three start their date with some salsa dancing, even dressing the part, and Blakeley shows the world that she's much more 'experienced' in the 'dance of love'.  The private time between Ben and Rachel looked completely awkward with a capital "A", and I thought for sure he was gonna send her packing.  However, this show is always full of of surprises, and despite her sexual energy, ta-tas, and heartfelt despondent scrapbook, Blakeley is finally sent on packin'.  Hmmph!

Ahead of the cocktail hour/rose ceremony Chris Harrison calls Casey S. out on her relationship with another man, pulling out her true feelings, and Ben asks her to go home.  Once again we see an ugly cry...and again, and again...and again...(I should have counted them).  Jamie's desperation 'straddle' on Ben's crotch was every shade of uncomfortable.  And wrong.  As was their first kiss (where's the bikini-clad Courtney when you want her??)....Jeeeeeeeebuuuuuuuusssssssss. Thank God he put us out of our misery and sent her home, too.  'Course, we still had to witness yet another ugly cry.  There now, 2 hours of my life I can't reclaim.  It was much less dramatic than the preview led me to believe, but, I'm all caught up on Facebook, and I've pinned a ton of stuff in addition to writing this post.  Til next week. G'nite.

Did anyone else notice that Courtney's unibrow was growing back in on the left side?

Alternate post title: "I wish her a good flight" (only because I don't quite know how to quote Casey's ugly cry wail).

Thursday, 2 February 2012

"Maybe she drank too much and the Jersey Shore came out?"*

I'm really late with this run-down.  I'm working nights, so I missed the beginning of the show Monday night, and because I really don't care that much, it wasn't set on prioity PVR-scheduling so I had to wait for it to be available On Demand.  Then it took a few days to actually get enough time together to completely watch it.
  • So now we're in Puerto Rico.  I have discovered that this show is greatly enhancing my desire to travel and see the world.
  • Nicki wins the first one-on-one date. They watch someone else get married and walk in the rain.  That's all I can really say about the date.  The marriage they witnessed got them talking about life, love and marriage, though, and she joined the group again with her saftey rose in hand.
  • Is it just me, or does anyone else think that Courtney looks like Russell Brand's twin sister? (I just insulted Russell. I'm sorry, Russell).
  • A competitive game of baseball is the setting for the group date.  As fate would have it, Emily and Courtney end up on opposing sides, splitting them into 2 groups of four, as the red team and the blue team. Prior to the schoolyard team picking, Ben was able to choose one girl to be the MVP, to play on both teams, and join the winning team to continue the date, and 'lo and behold, Lindzie-with-a-zee was the chosen one.  Therefore, she was guaranteed to win more time with Ben while the remaining girls fought to the death for their shot at more time with him.  Jennifer strikes out for the blue team, leading the red team (and Courtney) to victory, and a whisking away via helicopter to their dinner date on the beach.  Jealous of Ben giving Kacie B the group date rose, Courtney pulls Ben aside and into the water, offering to bare her ta-tas and skinny dip with her. Fortunately, Ben had enough couth to decline the invitation.
  • Elyse gets the second one-on-one date and they tear off onto a humungous yacht and he suggests they jump into the water - perhaps for one final chance to see her hot body before he dumps her on the date.  Note to Ben...if you don't have any intent on giving the girl the rose, WHY PICK IT UP AND FONDLE IT BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS giving her hope that it's on her way into her own fingers?  I agree with letting them go if there aren't any 'feelings' there, instead of leading them along, but that was just cruel.
  • With the departure of Elyse, perhaps Courtney felt the 'pressure' starting to brew, and she ended up bombarding him in his room with an impromptu invite back to the beach where she DID bare her ta-tas and the two went skinny-dipping (I'm thankful for tv censorship right now).
  • Emily, once more aims for some special one-on-one time during cocktail hour and ends up expressing her heartfelt disgust for Courtney. I`m actually quite shocked that he kept her & instead got rid of Jennifer.  That was his out, in my opinion.  And I thought he had more of a connection with Jennifer than he does Emily.  Anyway.
  • I don't believe Blakely's overdramatic-head-over-heels-for-Ben emotions either.  Nope, not one bit.
  • Oh Jennifer.  That's the ugliest "ugly cry" I've seen on the show for a long time. 
  • Lindzie still hasn't fixed her make-up problem.  I suppose if I was competing for Ben I wouldn't tell her anything to make her look better, either.
  • Oooh, next week's show looks chalk-FULL of Courtney drama!  I might even get next week's post done on time! (don't get too excited yet, though).
*Post title courtesy of Courtney; alternate title: "It blew my panties off!"

Monday, 30 January 2012

Happy Birthday Christopher!

Christopher can mark another year off of his 30's.  He had a birthday yesterday.  I wasn't online enough to write a post (call it lazy, call it busy... put it this way, I was wrapping his presents and constructing his birthday card yesterday morning while he was sipping on his first coffee of the day.  And oh, yeah, he and I did also have a heated Bejewelled battle on the go yesterday and if I neglect to add that to my list of excuses as to why this is late, he'll just mention it himself (I'm now winning again, btw)).  So, here I am to write up a belated tribute to my one 'n only...

You're my rock.  You know how to bring a smile to my face when I do my damndest NOT to smile (even going so far as putting stuff over my face so you can't see the smirk forming).  You know me from the inside out, and I can be my most comfortable and most real when you're there, with me.  You can frustrate the holy heck out of me, and you still forget your dirty socks and dirty drawers on the floor, but I still love you to bits despite those little things.  We've been together a very long time, celebrating a variety of birthdays together. I can't quite remember what life is like without you by my side...and I hope I don't have to think about that for a very, very, very long time. 

Happy Birthday Christopher.  I love you to the moon and back.  Thanks for being my everything xoxo.

Monday, 23 January 2012

"Catching fish probably isn't much harder than catching a man..."*

It's really Monday again?  Another typical "Monday" at work, and here I am in my jammies by the fire in front of the tv watching the Bachelor.

Tonight's backdrop is the spectacular Canyons Resort in Utah.  Rachel is the recipient of the first one-on-one date card and she nervously considers the time she's about to share as she remembers the last relationship she had ending due to her lack of communication (well, yeah, girl, you're there competing with scads of other beautiful ladies for one man's attention.  You best hope you can communicate decently).  They take a helicopter ride and the scenery is absolutely spectacular. They hop off the chopper onto a canoe, where they nibble on one another's lips as a barrage of bugs flit around their heads.  Soooo romantic!  They probably should have kept to sucking on their lips because the conversation (or lack there of) between them was awwwkward. I'm not entirely convinced that him giving her that rose was worth his time or not.

Onward to a group date.  Horses and hipwaders, oh my! Ben takes the ladies on a horseback ride through picturesque landscapes, and they lead to the water's edge where a line of hipwaders and rods are waiting, and together they plop in the water and go fly fishing. Nothing spells "sexy" quite like a pair of rubber hipwaders, no?  Much to the other girls' chagrin, (and my surprise) Courtney caught the only fish of the afternoon, and the cross-eyed, buck-toothed Samantha was left packing.  Courtney had a goal in mind, and that was the group date rose, and lo and behold, without much convincing, she got it (now waaaaaait just a minute -- Courtney's occupation is listed as a model, right? Not actress??? Coulda fooled me *eye roll*).

Jennifer was awarded the final one-on-one date. Together, they plunged into the depths of a crater and sought shelter from a rainstorm, and ended the night with a country concert "just for them" (amid a huge crowd of others), and shared a too-fast slow dance.  I don't mind Jennifer. I think when it's all said and done, Mr. Ben might have his work cut out for him trying to decide between her and Kacie B.

The typical drama ensued during the cocktail hour before the rose ceremony, and Emily tries to convince Ben that he's making a mistake by holding onto Courtney. Emily, Emily, Emily.  Didn't you learn anything from previous seaons of the Bachelor?  Any time one of the girls expresses opinions of one of the other ladies in a distasteful manner, she ends up getting the boot.  Tsk tsk...You're lucky that Boobs McGee was less interesting than you this evening. I don't think you should get too comfortable, though.

All in all *yawn*, I thought it was a rather boring episode.  Maybe it's because I had to lose a full two hours of my night tonight to watch it instead of recording it and being able to forward through the commercials and the too long "coming up nexts" in between them *shrug*.  Oh well, you know I'll do it again next week.  OH, and did you hear, ya'll?  We're getting a Bachelor of our very own!  I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that, actually (but you know, I'll watch it).

*Alternate title, "Winning!"