Search This Blog

Wednesday, 20 February 2013


I wonder how many regular readers I've lost by this blog becoming a Bachelor summary.

Do people blog anymore?

Do people read blogs anymore between Facebook and Pinterest?

Are you still there?  What keeps you here?  Pop me a comment.  I'm trying to decide whether it might be time to take My Happy Place to its cyber grave.  Chris Harrison hasn't contacted me to blog for him, afterall.

hometowns, schmotowns

And then there were four....Hometown night, and we start in Houston, Texas and AshLee.  AshLee's adoptive family reveal a layer of overprotectiveness, and her dad tells the story of his 'first date' with her when she was 4.  Tell me there was a dry eye in the house, America - I dare you.

Seattle, Washington, the sun (!) and Catherine await Sean's next meeting.  Catherine's sisters express their doubt. I guess her mother gave her blessing; to be honest, I wasn't paying that much attention.  The hometown show usually bores me. I also wonder why we're even in Catherine's hometown. She's cute and all but I didn't really ever notice a spark betwixt the two *shrug*.

Lindsay-the-bride-army-brat's Something-About-Wood, MO is our next destination.  Lindsay throws Sean an army outfit and subjects him to a bit of an bootcamp which was actually kinda cute.  Then it was on to the General's place, who, in a roundabout way gave Sean his blessing to marry his daughter if they so choose to take their relationship that far (well, heck, she's got the dress anyway, right?).  It seemed like a positive date.  The General even gave Sean a pair of his own dog tags.  I still don't feel this union...we'll see.

Los Angeles is the backdrop of the drama and the union between Sean and Des' family... and before the drama with her family begins, there's a knock on the door and Desiree's ex-boyfriend appears confessing his undying love and affection for her (and I have to say it appeared completely scripted, and poor, POOR acting to boot).  Immediately I'm wondering if Sean's being punk'd just like he punk'd us on Emily's season, and like he punk'd her on their first date, come to think of it....*end commercial break*...and I'll just say HA!  Told ya so...  The date continues, and the meet the parents went fine; they seemed wholesome and happy for Des.  Then her brother calls him out as a playboy creating tension and awkwardness.  Could this be the demise of Sean & Des....hmmm...

Despite a painful turmoil-filled delay (thank the baby Jesus for recorded TV and a fast forward button), he does opt to keep his life drama-free and sends Des and her nasty brother packin'....and I gotta say, I honestly didn't see that coming.  I think he made a mistake, too.  I'm actually out of wit.  Guess we know who the next Bachelorette will be.  And maybe brother Nate will get the stick out of his ass by then.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

"Once again, it's the Tierra show"*

Our next episode begins with all 6 remaining girls flying into St. Croix in a sea plane. After tonight we'll know who Sean plans to take on the hometown dates. The only "date rose" that will be given out tonight is the group date, and three lucky ladies are treated to one-on-one time.

AshLee is given the first one-on-one date, leading Tierra to belt out, "the cougar's back in town", in a fit of jealousy.  Sean and AshLee frolic around in the ocean and lay on the beach.  We are treated to a few lovely shots of his glorious chest, and AshLee opens up about the 'true' Tierra, and Sean seems receptive of her thoughts and feelings...least that's what we're led to believe... They have a romantic candlelit dinner on the beach, and AshLee reveals a deep dark secret - that she was a married high school junior.  Sean of course goes all Ryan Gosling on her and says he thinks she's perfect the way she is, and she shouts her love for Sean into the night sky.

Meanwhile, Tierra is chosen for the second, and her first, one-on-one, though she is very concerned about bugs, sweatiness and her makeup dripping off when it's announced their date's theme is exploring the streets of St. Croix rather than relaxing boatside.  They go shopping, eat snowcones, and despite the risk of sweating, dance with a street parade.  There's some slight tension during their alone time but then Sean shakes it off to taking too much stock in what AshLee is saying, and Tierra then goes on to secure her spot by affirming that she's falling in love with him.

Lindsay-the-bride, Catherine & Des are surprised very early as Sean waltzes into their room awaking them from a snoozy slumber to announce that they are leaving on their date in 5 minutes.  To add to the surprise he takes their picture because he wants to see them without makeup on.  I'd punch him.  The reason for the early wake-up is to watch the sunrise together (ok, I guess I'd forgive him for the camera thing).  They travel the length of the island, stopping in various places and spaces to play tourist, ultimately ending at the other side of the island to see the sunset (ok so that really does sound like a perfect date).  To America's (well, at least my) surprise, Des didn't get the group date rose, and instead the flower was handed to Lindsay-the-bride, and maybe it was the Universe giving Sean a sign for his decision with the rose...there was no sunset because the sun was hidden behind the clouds (*queue dramatic music*).

And finally, the last one-on-one date embarks with Lesley.  The sun returns, in full force, and the couple share a picnic lunch under the trees. Sean does his best to pull our her feelings, but I gotta say, their 'alone time' was all shades of awkward. Methinks he shouldn't bother asking too much about her family...

That bitch be ca-raaaayzay!!!!!
Sean's sister Shay joins Sean in trying to make his final decision, where he mulls over the option to keep Tierra in the running, and inbetween musings, the camera pans to the best drama of the season and a confrontation between AshLee and Tierra (I actually rewound it to watch it all again, and I do want to commend the producers for an excellent drama flow). Sean enters the house with the intention of grabbing Tierra to meet Shay but instead of a smiling Tierra, he finds a post-drama meltdown Tierra, and he FINALLY sees the light and realizes it's time to send her ass HOME...pan to the taxi ride and an ugly cry, and it's a done deal.

Guinness record be damned, Lesley is also sent packing, and moving along to show us their hometowns are Lindsay-the-bride, Des, Catherine, and AshLee.  After seeing the preview to the next episode I can hardly wait for the drama that ensues with Des' brother.  And we thought we were through with the drama with the departure of Ms. Tierra.  Oh that Bachelor! You just never can tell!

*Alternate post title: "I cannot control my eyebrow"

Sunday, 10 February 2013

"Everybody, watch your back; we have a tierr-orist on our hands"

The show begins with Sean's exclamation, "I love Canada!" -- aww, Sean...Canada loves you, too!! (again, no starting scenes of Sean's chest; wtf??).

The beautiful Canadian Rockies, Lake Louise and Banff & Jasper National Parks are the settings of this week's episode.  Catherine is chosen for the first one-on-one and Sean picks her up in a giant snow bus in the middle of what looks like Blizzard Nemo. They go sledding and make snow angels, and go for a drive on a horse-drawn carriage to an ice castle.  Catherine shares a personal story about a loss early in her life which secures the date rose; Sean's crazy about her.  He's crazy about a lot them, though.

The group date starts off with a canoe ride; I guess Sean really didn't pay that much attention to the Montana Relay did he?  They make it to their destination only to be told that they are going to take part in the Lake Louise Polar Bear Plunge (when in Canada, do as the Canadians do, eh?).  An EMT is on stand-by and they are coached on the risks of hypothermia. At least we get to see another glimpse of his chest, right?  Selma opts out of the 'challenge', but the others take the leap and all are giggles and jubilation for having done it.  Tierra's cold heart must have gotten a shock, though, because she needed to be escorted away by the medics (is ANYONE surprised?  If any of you were on the fence, her whiny pout, "...but I miss time with him..." should have cemented it. The attached photo is the pout if you need reminding).  She's careful to reinsert her oxygen tube just as he walks into her room to see if she's ok, and suggests she stay at the hotel and rest instead of joining them later that night.  To no one's surprise, she lands there anyway.  To Tierra's surprise, Lesley gets the group rose, though.  And, he sends Sarah home. I hope she doesn't think it's because she only has one arm.

Des gets the second one-on-one date, and they start at the highest point of Banff National Park where they repel down a 400ft mountain to a waiting picnic. They climb a tree and kiss between the branches, and end the date by the fire in a big teepee. She opens up about her childhood of humble beginnings and gets the date rose. They kiss some more. She could be Mrs. Sean. The date ends with her declaration of her own life metaphor of telling Sean how she grew up living in a tent, and now she's falling in love in a teepee.  Is that not what country songs and soap operas are made of, or what?

The rose ceremony takes a rather saucy turn as Selma goes against her religious beliefs  to plant a kiss on Sean's lips (SELMA! What will your mother say??!), Lindsay admits to sleeping naked, and LeeAnn gets Sean to blindfold her.  Between all that and Tierra's constant manipulation and girl crying wolf stuff, it's apparent that the remaining girls will do just about anything to secure their mitts with a rose, and should ultimately make Sean's pending decisions for who gets what rose a lot more trying.  In the end, Daniella, shirked from any and all one-on-one opportunities, and Selma, despite having gone against her religion and risking breaking her mother's heart, are sent to find love somewhere else this week, as Sean gives the final rose to Tierra.  Next episode looks full of Tierra drama, and just from the preview alone, I already have my post title for the next summary post.  Happy Sunday, folks :)

*Lesley, who I like more and more each week.

"If I want to go get engaged I can easily go get engaged; there are plenty of #%*ing guys in the world"*

Ok so since this blog has now resurfaced as a "Bachelor blog", and since I'm storm-stayed inside on account of "Blizzard Nemo" it seems as good a time as any to get caught up on this past week's shows. Yes, shows, plural.  I have 4 hrs to plow through (pardon the blizzard pun).  Thank GOODNESS I chose to just let the PVR do its work so I didn't actually have to commit an entire 4 hrs of my life on the show this week.

Thank you inTouch; thank you.
The dreaded two-on-one date approaches the house, and as Chris Harrison claims, things are getting serious and the eleven remaining girls head to Montana to join Sean {Holy the water REALLY that blue??}.  I'm very disappointed as I'm already 6 mins into the show and I've not seen Sean's chest or boxer-briefed buttocks.  {I've taken the liberty of posting a photo courtesy of the interwebs and inTouch magazine to make up for this episode's slack.  You're welcome}.

Lindsay-the-bride is the winner of the one-on-one date.  No pressure, just fun.  And they begin their date on, you guessed it, a helicopter, and they head to Glacier National Park, and then sit fireside after the sun goes down.  Sean gets to know her a little more as they talk about her past and her Daddy issues from being an Army brat during the war.  They kiss. She gets the date rose.  Sean seems into her, but then again, doesn't he seem that way with every single girl when they have some alone time?  Her voice drives me.  The little town hosts a concert with some upcoming country artist I have no idea about, and the two join the party and dance among the entire population of Whitefish, Montana.

The group date begins, and the girls embark on the "Bachelor's Montana Wilderness Relay Race", including a canoe race, a hay drag, log sawing, and milking goats (oh, and then drinking the goat milk).  The girls are split into two teams of 4, and they compete to win more time with Sean.  The looks on their manicured faces when they were advised of the tasks ahead of them were a little priceless.  The athleticism was amazing, too, by the way.  Selma, Sarah, Des, and Robyn hailed as champions, but in true Sean fashion, Sean bends the rules to have the losers join the winners after all, so he didn't lose out on some important one-on-one time with the losers.  Des is very perturbed that she chugged back goat's milk for nothing.  Tierra, who wasn't even a part of the group date decides she needs to manipulate even MORE of Sean's time to make up for him choosing her to be one of the two on the upcoming two-on-one date, and surprises Sean by interrupting the group date to assure him of her presence in the house (man oh man, he better watch his back if he ends up sending her home).  Daniella has a meltdown on Sean's shoulder and softie-Sean ends up assuring her that she has nothing to worry about by giving her the date rose.

The two-on-one is between Jackie & Tierra; Tierra thinks her little visit on the group date nabs her rose so she embarks on the date with renewed confidence (ie, cockiness - there really is a very, very fine line, and if you ask me, I don't see much of a difference).  They ride horses and stop for lunch, where Sean splits up his time between the two girls. Jackie seals her fate as she 'enlightens' Sean about a nasty side of Tierra (that never, ever bodes well on this show; hasn't she watched ANY previous seasons?).  Tierra eats up some more 'alone' time with Sean, opening up about a previous relationship that she had where the guy had passed away, further manipulating her spot in the house, and Jackie is sent home in the limo as Tierra and Sean sit underneath a sky of fireworks.

The cocktail party stirs up some drama where some of the girls approach Tierra and she gets her stinger poised and ready to strike out, and Sean walks past as she threatens to sting them all.  Sean pulls Tierra aside, and Tierra claims all the girls are attacking her. Sean wants to address the concerns, and for a brief moment, the audience is led to believe he might be starting to think that Tierra isn't there for the right reasons. For a moment, we wonder if he might take the rose away from Tierra.  Of course not. Ultimately, Robyn is sent home, and luckily for her, Sean walks her out so she doesn't risk falling down on the way out of the house like she did on the way in. I didn't like her much anyway.

I'll post this now to give ya'll something to read - off to hit play on part 2 of the week... I can barely contain myself.

*Tierra, in response to the girls' questioning her sincerity; seems like it sums her up, no?

Sunday, 3 February 2013


It seems like every show begins on a high note, doesn't it?  One tip, however, the clips from the walk-in closet were too quick, producers!  Work on that for the next one, would ya? {#Seanhasthecutestbum}

Selma gets the first one-on-one date and they get the red-carpet treatnent as they take off in a private jet in their sneakers and Lululemons, landing in the desert.  They rock climb in Joshua Tree National Park, and after conquering her fear of heights and sweat, Selma gets to trade in her hiking sneakers for her 6 inch heels as they have dinner at a quaint little trailer park (??). Sean's eager lips go unrequited, though, as Selma explains her strict religious Arabic background. He'll be some horny if he keeps her around til the end, eh wha?

A huge thank you to whomever doctored up this pic ;)
A skating rink is the setting of the group date and the girls suit up for an old fashioned battle of roller derby.  Sarah has a melt-down because she only has one arm.  Amanda lies to them all about having had previous derby experience, and then, in her over-confidence bites it so bad she fractures her jaw.  Since the medics had to be called in, Sean decides that instead of having an actual ass-kickin' bout, they should just opt to have a free skate around the rink.  {And, as I see them all glide around to the sound of Journey I'm feeling very melancholy as I remember the fun times I had at Skate Country.  Man, I still miss that place.  I bet I wouldn't be a fat girl if that place still existed.  Thanks Dave Beaton; you made me fat.}  Tierra has a hissy fit (complete with a snorty ugly cry, that is), threatens to leave the house entirely, and Sean coddles her with the group rose.  Classic manipulation 1, innocent Sean, 0.

Leslie H is awarded the second one-on-one date.  To prepare Leslie for her evening out Sean sends her diamond earrings, and they go shopping Pretty Woman-style on Rodeo Drive to find an outfit to match her new bling {She looks no more like Julia Roberts than I do; if anything, I think she resembles a giraffe}.  Dressed to the nines, the two share dinner, and although Sean teasingly holds the rose in his hand in front of her,  he simply explains why he can't give it to her because he has no romantic feelings, and sends her to ride off into the sunset. Least she has a pair of pretty earrings to take back home with her, though, right?

The rose ceremony ends with a bruised Amanda walking to the waiting limo. You'd think he'd at least have given her a pity rose til her bruised jaw healed a little, wouldn't you?  Oh that Sean, he's just full of surprises,  though, isn't he?

*A rather fitting title; thanks to one of the girls for a delightful play-on- words.  She is NOT the cute little innocent I thought she was on night one.  The drama is fun though :)