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Monday, 27 February 2012

"I'm a hot mess"

Here it is, the night we've all been waiting for...the top 3 ladies, and the overnight dates.  They have all flown to Switzerland for a romp, and the show begins as Ben recaps his feelings for the girls left standing: Nicki, Lindzi-with-a-zee, and Evil Courtney.  He expresses that he's, "motivated to ask questions he's afraid to ask, and dig deeper" (overnight dates, of COURSE he wants to dig DEEPER.  Okay, that was crass, right? Sorry).

Nicki's date is up first, and they hop on the chopper again and soar through the snow-capped alps, perching atop of one to sit for a quiet picnic.  Gotta admit, she appears pretty smitten... The sun sets, and they make their way inside a candlelit log cabin where they promptly decide to forego their individual rooms, and hunker down into the fantasy sweet amid candles, fire, bubbles and passion.  Boy oh boy is her heart going to be shattered if she's not the last woman standing...

Lindzi-with-a-zee with her powdered sugar lips is up next (of COURSE they again leave Evil C for the very end), and they begin their date repelling 300ft down into a gorge. I felt like I was going to barf just watching the camera pan downward.  Again, in true Bachelor-fashion, they bring back the famous metaphor of experiencing such a frightening undertaking proving how they can beat the odds and blah, blah, blah (insert HUGE eye roll)... and, a Bachelor first, Ben admits that he "loves" her during his camera time. Ben dons his crooked green bow tie, and they share supper, thoughts, and the overnight proposition (for the record, her hair looks like she already DID forgo her individual room).  If I have to hear how Lindzi is "vulnerable" one.more.freaking.time, I just might scream.

And finally, the third date, and a return of Evil Courtney.  The beginning of the date teases the audience as Ben indicates that he may have a slight misgiving about Courtney relating to the way she's treated other people...and they hop on a train, travel into Wengen, and purchase some picnic eats.  The chatter becomes a little awkward as the situation between Courtney and the other girls' relationships hits the forefront.  It even went so far as having Ben mention that he wanted to talk about it later because he wanted to enjoy the day.  It's likely just the network cleverly trying to make America feel that Courtney is finally getting the boot. As the date progresses and they have their evening 'chat' about the difficulties she's had he outright admits that the girl he has one-on-one time with is the 'girl he's falling in love with'...  Evil C apologizes and holds some accountability for her actions and Ben's ready to swish it all under the rug as he gets horned up awaiting her decision to forego her individual room (as if there was ANY doubt in the world that the skinny-dipping model would NOT jump at the chance to bare her ta-tas again and dig deeper herself!).
And the SHOCKER of the evening...a return of a dejected Kacie B, looking for answers.  She got a few, and planted a needed seed in Ben's head about Courtney's intentions, leaving him "utterly confused", yet he still kept her there, leaving toga-clad Nicki to walk her final walk of shame.  It's now down to Lindzi or Courtney.  He told America that he loves Lindzi-with-a-zee, and, he told Courtney personally that he was falling in love with her. Who he ends up with is anyone's guess; suppose it could be riding on who was the best individual room foregoer?  Next week's "Women Tell All" looks drama-filled, though!

All I really know after this episode is that I REALLY want to travel to Switzerland some day, and, I am seriously looking forward to watching the Titanic in 3D. And, I really don't care that Emily is our next Bachelorette.  You?

Thursday, 23 February 2012

just a few things

Things I'm pretty sure of:
- I could survive eating only breakfast foods for every meal
- I could leave the HGTV channel on all day and not be bored
- At some point in my life on earth I very well could be known as the 'cat lady'

Things I know:
-I'm SO anti-Glee
-and anti-vampire (Twilight? Vampire Diaries?  pfffffffffffffffft)

-hair feathers. Why? WHY?
-that "style" of having the arse of your pants hang just under your buttocks, sagging. WHY is that even possible? WHY?
-Uggs.  While I'm all about comfort (totally), and I actually even bought a pair of "mock" uggs a few years ago (because they were reported as "comfortable"), they're fugly. And they offer no more support than a pair of slippers.  Therefore, to me, they ARE just expensive slippers.
-high heels. I know I have the issue of weight not being on my side to support my ample plummage on a pair of tiny spikes, but c'mon, even the most daintiest of ladies can't tell me they're comfortable wearing them. I won't believe her.  I won't.
-Foursquare; aren't you just inviting someone to come into your home to burgle you of your bounty of electronics that you've already posted on Facebook?

Am I alone here, people???

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

"...and now, your families are involved..."*

And here we are, already at the hometown dates.

Lindzi-with-a-zee starts the night off and of course we're introduced to the real love in her life, and that is her horse.  They discuss her vulnerability, and despite the fact that her makeup is extra cakey, they suck face before trotting onward to meet her family.  The good Lord up above gave them a sign - they had their first date at the same location that her parents got married! Kismet??!  All jokes aside, it was a very natural date, and everyone appeared to be super comfortable.  Maybe it was the wine *shrug* (love the redneck wine glasses for the men, btw).

{Just when I thought her makeup couldn't get ANY worse, now I have to question not only the muddy foundation...but wtf is with that lipstick? She looks like she's been sucking on a sugar donut. Or maybe it was the marshmallows from the s'mores?}

Next up is Kacie B's hometown, complete with a welcome from a marching band, a baton-twirling Kacie B, and a sweet little love story about her grandparents that brought a tear to my own eye.

{I LOVE Kacie's cute little poncho jacket, don't you??}
Meeting Pa B. was outwardly awkward and uncomfortable.  Mama B. wasn't much better. If he feels he can't get their approval, why would that change his decision? Ultimately, if he feels that she's the 'one', what does it matter what ANYone else thinks or feels? 

{Jebus Freaking Chrisco, he needs a haircut. And soon. And maybe a degreasing treatment. Or - something. *shudders*}

Nicki and her skinny jeans greet Ben next, and they begin their date shopping for real-life cowboy boots and miscellaneous cowboy/girl accoutrements (the hat did NOT help the look of his hair. At all).  The conversation between Nicki and her overprotective daddy made me miss my dad so much.  And yeah, perhaps I even shed a tiny tear.  There, I said it. I cried whille watching The Bachelor.  Daddy gave his blessing and then Nicki again exclaims her love for him.  Could the warmer reception he received at this homestead push her over Kacie B?  Hmmm....

And finally, the "best" for last...we get to see where psycho-Courtney hails from...  I love that her own mother doubted her feelings of love at first.  However, despite the doubts her momma, and all of America might have regarding her intentions, and in her traditional "Fatal Attraction" fashion, she leads Ben to a quaint park setting where she arranged a 'mock wedding', complete with spontaneous handwritten 'vows', and they each describe their feelings toward one another.  Gotta say, if she doesn't end up the final girl standing, America may have some big fists punch-ready for declaring some of the things he did declare. I suppose it could all be summed up as 'heat of the moment', right? (Oh, and I am in NO way, shape, or form supporting a Ben/Courtney tryst, union, or the like.  Just trying to call it like I see it).
{Despite being back in her home soil, she still hasn't seen her esthetician}

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he dog-gone went and took Pa B.'s advice, and let Kacie go.  He fooled me too, Kacie.  We can only wonder if the cool reception at the homestead had something to do with it?  Or maybe the mock up wedding ceremony courtesy of Evil C?  You should be proud of appearing very poised and graceful through your final walk out...too bad you had to let go in front of the camera and display what I can only say was this seasons worst 'ugly cry' yet - complete with drippy, black eyes.  You'll find love some day, pet.  Perhaps your daddy will even love him, too.

*Alternate post title: "What the F@#& happened??!!!"

Saturday, 18 February 2012

"do you Belize in love?"

Better late than never, right?  I was sure to hold off on reading any spoilers or posts about this week's Bachelor to ensure my recorded episode was filled with surprise after surprise:

The setting is Belize - and the final kick at the cat before they take him home to momma. There are 3 one-on-one opportunities, and a group date with the remaining 3 girls. Of course there will be much drama, and probably even declarations of adoration and undying love...  Here we go....
  • Lindzi-with-a-zee gets the first one-on-one and they helicopter off so Ben can show her his blue hole. Er. I mean Belize's "Blue Hole".  She was a little scared at first, but her love for him was enough to give her the courage to jump off the 'copter and into the depths of the Hole (she still has TERRIBLE make-up, but she did score an extra point with me for declaring, "Hol-eeee Shitballs", after her big jump).  A romantic, candlelit dinner complete with a message in a bottle concludes their alone time. (GAWD her make up is TERRIBLE - and that descent down to the big blue whole must have come with a HUGE scream out of her, because she sounds like a troll by night's end).  Oh, and P.S. Lindzi -- your bra is showing!
  • Much to Courtney's disappointment (and her fake tears), Emily is given the second one-on-one.  They begin their day biking thru the village, shopping, diving (!?! WTF?) for lobsters, and end it dining on their catch, dancing and sharing their innermost feelings.  She appears to have made up for her earlier indiscretions of opening up about her thoughts on Court.
  • Unfortunately, Courtney was granted the final one-on-one date and they take off to a Mayan temple (Courtney really should have packed herself a pair of tweezers to help her ward off that unibrow inbetween visits to the esthetician). Her ability to give Ben a guilt trip on their date was astounding.  She gets my award for the most manipulative this season, as the two of them discuss her 'refinding' the spark. (Every time the camera pans to her face I find myself staring at the dark spot on her right eyebrow as the shadow of the unibrow comes in thicker and thicker). 
  • The 3 remaining gals are left to fend for themselves on the group date, and the only date rose available this week.  Rachel, Nicki & Kacie get an early wake-up call via Ben, and then they slip out onto the water as the sun rises above them before embarking on shark diving.  Rachel's parents probably should have vetoed her from watching Jaws, and I have to admit, I don't honestly agree with voluntarily diving into shark-infested waters, myself.  Her fears did, however, allow her to have a little extra Benny time.  Despite that, Ben still plays it safe, and ends up giving Kacie B the date rose (of course she's going to get a rose; she's Mrs. Ben), and the 3 pour their hearts out about how they feel about Courtney... (queue the suspenseful music...*duh duh DUH*....)
  • Free of a cocktail hour, the rose ceremony gets underway, with a little surprise one-on-one time with Courtney. Yay group date...did you get him to FINALLY open his eyes? Of courT not. *sigh*...ciao to  Emily and Rachel. You tried!  In a few short days we get to see the hometown dates and the final 3.  The suspense is just killing me.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Happy Birthday Cathy!

Happy Birthday to my big sister!!

© Cyndi Moore
Sister, we've been there through life's sorrow and pain
But together we have always endured the strain
We've argued and bickered and made each other mad
But if you weren't my sister, life would be so sad
We've cried till we laughed and laughed till we cried
Sometimes for no reason we didn't even know why
When we're not together our bond is just as strong
Because we are sisters we know when something is wrong
We've whispered our deepest secrets only sisters could share
I love my sister dearly because she really cares
So whether we are together or we are far apart
You're my sister, my friend and forever in my heart.

Source: My Sister, My Friend, Sister Poem
Family Friend Poems

Wishing you unending happiness and good times in the year ahead!  Love you! xoxo

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Be my Valentine?

Chris claims to hate this 'holiday'.  He feels it's over-commercialized, and vehemently despises the idea of setting aside one day in the year to say, "I love you", when a man should say it every day.  His heart is in the right place, I guess, but, that doesn't discount the fact that a girl likes to get flowers.  And it really sucks to see all the girls around her getting flowers, when she's NOT getting flowers :).  So yeah, while I agee with his sentimentality, I still don't see anything wrong with a little bit of extra lovin', pretty flowers, and yummy chocolates one day of the year :).

In years past, regardless of Chris' attitude about the holiday, we've celebrated in style all the same.  Here are a few of my favourite Valentine moments we've shared over the years:

-I arrived home from work to find Chris slaving away in the kitchen of our little apartment in Stratford, making me supper (this was, of course, before him cooking and me cleaning up supper became our "norm").  He had a copy of "The Notebook" and some chocolates (maybe a rose? I can't remember) on the table, too.  And after supper, he whisked me away on a surprise sleigh ride. It was a "Valentine" sleigh ride, and the hosts arranged for candlelit hot cocoa and a dessert in a quaint little room of their farmhouse. It was really, really awesome.
-I surprised Chris with a little Valentine getaway at a bed & breakfast.  We walked around some trails in the forest, enjoyed a dip in the hot tub, and were catered to a delicious supper and breakfast. It was heavenly and worth every single penny.
-One year I had to work til 9pm, and as it was on a weeknight I figured the whole idea of Valentines Day was a write-off, but to my surprise, Chris had picked up a bottle of wine and had gone through the trouble of melting chocolate to make some homemade chocolate-covered strawberries.
-A few years ago Chris had a photo shoot to do. Valentines Day fell on the weekend.  I can't remember if it was a Saturday or a Sunday, but he was gone 90% of that entire weekend.  He returned home with a bouquet of wooden red roses. He wanted me to have a rose that never died (his least romantic of all romantic gestures, but, in his own way, still cute).

So yeah, he says Valentines Day is all so very "meh", but, he still manages to make me feel like one of the most special gals on earth, and very, very loved.  This year, he arrived home with a bouquet of 12 red roses, and I made him supper, and we had a romantic, candlelit evening.  He didn't look at his iPhone ONCE!  So yeah, you can say you hate it all you want, Christopher, I think deep down inside you're more of a romantic than you think.  And I'm totally ok with that :).  Love you! xoxo

Monday, 6 February 2012

"I've got moves that they've never seen"

One of these weeks there will be a few extra posts in between the last Bachelor rant, I promise...

Here I sit, watching and blogging "as it airs"; I slept like crap last night, so the only thing keeping me awake is sitting upright with the laptop in my lap.  If this post ends up delayed you'll know that sleep won.  Ok, right down to it...we're in Panama City, Panama.  While visions of David Lee Roth play in my head, we see that Kacie B is the winner of the first one-on-one date, and they take a chopper ride to a deserted island and play Survivor.  You can't see him, but I'm sure Jeff Probst is in the background telling them how to cook a fish on an open fire and how to open up a coconut.  Kacie reveals that she grew up with an eating disorder, and after proving that they can 'survive as a team together' and reveal deep dark secrets, he hands her the rose that all of America knew was coming her way anyway.  She's the only one to get a 2nd one-on-one so far, after all.  Yes, yes, my prediction is the "B" in Kacie B does not stand for 'boring', but instead, 'Ben's bride'.

Even though we know Kacie will be the last girl standing, we do have a few more dates to get through, and next up is the group date where Ben whisks the girls to a modest motor boat and they go on a trip through the jungle, visit a local village, and frolic with the natives. They don the beaded dress of the natives, including Ben clad in a teeny little loincloth, and the girls in beaded tops and kercheifs 'round their midsection.  Of course Courtney has to live right in the moment, and she drops all her underthings, again revealing her ta-tas, and again, making me thankful for tv censorship.  Later on in the evening poor Jamie who has never even been kissed by Ben tries to fight for his attention on some 'one-on-one' time, as Courtney parades around in her bikini in the background.  In other news, Emily purports to have had regrets in telling Ben her 'feelings' about Courtney and attempts to be the bigger person and apologizes to Courtney.  Instead of accepting the apology graciously, Courtney ends up flipping out her left boob and smacking Emily upside the head with it (well, no, she didn't really, but it seemed like it, don'tcha think?).

{What the eff was Lindzie-with-a-zee WEARING during the group date evening?}

Rachel & Blakeley duke it out with the two-on-one date, where there's one rose, and where one goes home...  The three start their date with some salsa dancing, even dressing the part, and Blakeley shows the world that she's much more 'experienced' in the 'dance of love'.  The private time between Ben and Rachel looked completely awkward with a capital "A", and I thought for sure he was gonna send her packing.  However, this show is always full of of surprises, and despite her sexual energy, ta-tas, and heartfelt despondent scrapbook, Blakeley is finally sent on packin'.  Hmmph!

Ahead of the cocktail hour/rose ceremony Chris Harrison calls Casey S. out on her relationship with another man, pulling out her true feelings, and Ben asks her to go home.  Once again we see an ugly cry...and again, and again...and again...(I should have counted them).  Jamie's desperation 'straddle' on Ben's crotch was every shade of uncomfortable.  And wrong.  As was their first kiss (where's the bikini-clad Courtney when you want her??)....Jeeeeeeeebuuuuuuuusssssssss. Thank God he put us out of our misery and sent her home, too.  'Course, we still had to witness yet another ugly cry.  There now, 2 hours of my life I can't reclaim.  It was much less dramatic than the preview led me to believe, but, I'm all caught up on Facebook, and I've pinned a ton of stuff in addition to writing this post.  Til next week. G'nite.

Did anyone else notice that Courtney's unibrow was growing back in on the left side?

Alternate post title: "I wish her a good flight" (only because I don't quite know how to quote Casey's ugly cry wail).

Thursday, 2 February 2012

"Maybe she drank too much and the Jersey Shore came out?"*

I'm really late with this run-down.  I'm working nights, so I missed the beginning of the show Monday night, and because I really don't care that much, it wasn't set on prioity PVR-scheduling so I had to wait for it to be available On Demand.  Then it took a few days to actually get enough time together to completely watch it.
  • So now we're in Puerto Rico.  I have discovered that this show is greatly enhancing my desire to travel and see the world.
  • Nicki wins the first one-on-one date. They watch someone else get married and walk in the rain.  That's all I can really say about the date.  The marriage they witnessed got them talking about life, love and marriage, though, and she joined the group again with her saftey rose in hand.
  • Is it just me, or does anyone else think that Courtney looks like Russell Brand's twin sister? (I just insulted Russell. I'm sorry, Russell).
  • A competitive game of baseball is the setting for the group date.  As fate would have it, Emily and Courtney end up on opposing sides, splitting them into 2 groups of four, as the red team and the blue team. Prior to the schoolyard team picking, Ben was able to choose one girl to be the MVP, to play on both teams, and join the winning team to continue the date, and 'lo and behold, Lindzie-with-a-zee was the chosen one.  Therefore, she was guaranteed to win more time with Ben while the remaining girls fought to the death for their shot at more time with him.  Jennifer strikes out for the blue team, leading the red team (and Courtney) to victory, and a whisking away via helicopter to their dinner date on the beach.  Jealous of Ben giving Kacie B the group date rose, Courtney pulls Ben aside and into the water, offering to bare her ta-tas and skinny dip with her. Fortunately, Ben had enough couth to decline the invitation.
  • Elyse gets the second one-on-one date and they tear off onto a humungous yacht and he suggests they jump into the water - perhaps for one final chance to see her hot body before he dumps her on the date.  Note to Ben...if you don't have any intent on giving the girl the rose, WHY PICK IT UP AND FONDLE IT BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS giving her hope that it's on her way into her own fingers?  I agree with letting them go if there aren't any 'feelings' there, instead of leading them along, but that was just cruel.
  • With the departure of Elyse, perhaps Courtney felt the 'pressure' starting to brew, and she ended up bombarding him in his room with an impromptu invite back to the beach where she DID bare her ta-tas and the two went skinny-dipping (I'm thankful for tv censorship right now).
  • Emily, once more aims for some special one-on-one time during cocktail hour and ends up expressing her heartfelt disgust for Courtney. I`m actually quite shocked that he kept her & instead got rid of Jennifer.  That was his out, in my opinion.  And I thought he had more of a connection with Jennifer than he does Emily.  Anyway.
  • I don't believe Blakely's overdramatic-head-over-heels-for-Ben emotions either.  Nope, not one bit.
  • Oh Jennifer.  That's the ugliest "ugly cry" I've seen on the show for a long time. 
  • Lindzie still hasn't fixed her make-up problem.  I suppose if I was competing for Ben I wouldn't tell her anything to make her look better, either.
  • Oooh, next week's show looks chalk-FULL of Courtney drama!  I might even get next week's post done on time! (don't get too excited yet, though).
*Post title courtesy of Courtney; alternate title: "It blew my panties off!"