This is not a Dr. Seuss rhyme...

...but....

I awoke to a freaking MOUSE IN MY HOUSE! 

Fear not, he was not attempting to plot. 

Dead was he, and white-faced, was ME!

I nearly passed out.  I frantically called out to a slumbering Chris, "UM, there appears to be what looks like a real dead mouse in the hallway".  To which, he sleepily replied, "Huh, that's not possible"..and then the surprise, "Oh my God it IS (no sh!t, Sherlock!)".

I remember hearing Zoe crying out for us earlier in the morning, long before the alarm.  She usually waits til the alarm goes off, and then she walks all over me to ensure I'm getting up.  Perhaps she was squealing in delight at her kill?  Bosco looked unusually tired this morning - barely opening an eyelid as he remained drowsily perched on top of the couch. Perhaps he'd had a busy night last night.  Regardless of how the kill went down, at least Chris was there to dispose of the...carcass.  He'd dropped it actually, and it made a big thud.  How quick does riggor kick in, anyway? (*shudders*).  This is our first issue with a rodent.  Does it mean that there's a nest of little furry creatures in our mattress?  In the dust bunny haven under the bed?  Perhaps in the sty that we call a bedroom closet?  I'm sickened at the thought, but, at least I do have a few 'guards' on hand to take care of business, as it were. 

I guess you know what I'LL be doing this weekend.  Full on clean up in the Master...complete with closet dump.  If it's not been worn in a year, "hopeful" or not, she goes to the red bin.  Pray that I don't find fecal matter or 'nests', would you, please?

Sweet merciful baby Jeeeeeeeeeebus!

EEK!

So I was just sitting there at my desk on my lunch break today - back from the lunchroom early to check some email - minding my own p's and q's, when all of a sudden out of my mid-peripheral vision I saw something drop. I then felt something on my forearm. Immediately I flailed both arms, and pushed my chair out and looked around in a panic. I knew it wasn't my imagination. Something fell from up above me, and the a/c wasn't on up there, so I was doubtful it was a large dust bunny (besides, a few months prior I had the same sort of mid-peripheral experience only to see a frigging spider fall onto my keyboard)*.

Then I saw it.

Moving, almost camouflaged, at its own pace, on my pant leg, was a most disgusting, most vile arachnid. On my leg.

Sweet Baby Jesus. A spider was upon my person**.  A creepy, crawly spider.  I abhor spiders. After doing a little shimmy shake I was able to remove it from my person, finding it's landing spot on the carpet, and aiding in its untimely death.  For the remainder of the day I had images of and had myself convinced that more spiders were crawling over me, nesting between my boobs or something.  I'm itching now just writing about it.

Probably an hour later, my co-worker beside me went to pump some hand sanitizer from her dispenser and a long stream of sanitizer shot through the air, across the side of the desk beside me.  In my peripheral, of course, all I saw was something moving and I immediately jumped..thinking more spiders were coming for me.  You know something like this could make a person mental.  Suppose some people would have less of a road to travel to reach that point than others, though.

And how was YOUR day?

* The jokes from my co-workers about their being the possibility of a nest above me in the a/c vent were not appreciated, and NOT the least bit funny!

**I wasn't able to embed the video inside my post, but please, do click the link and watch this funny Moss clip.  The IT Crowd is frigging hilarious.  This phrase is actually a quote from Moss - from this episode. Unfortunately the video doesn't play out long enough to include it.  You should go find Episode 3 from the first season and watch the whole thing.  For serious.