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Tuesday 13 March 2012

something about a red flag

It's the final week, and Ben's down to his final two choices for the "love of his life".  Lindzi or Courtney?  The setting is beautiful Zermatt, Switzerland, and Ben brings his momma and his sister to help him with his tumultuous decision.  Ben's sister begins the evening with a bit of foreshadowing, perhaps, with her definition of red flag:  "the girl that generally doesn't get along with the other girls"... That's right!!  We need you to talk some sense into your brother before it's too late!

Lindzi-with-a-zee is the first to meet the fam and she has a very hard time keeping her fork in her hand.  Obviously her nerves and the stress of it all are getting to her, as her makeup is a little extra thick trying to hide that big-ass chin zit; despite her attempts, it's still showing.  Thankfully she opted for a light pink lipstick as opposed to the sugar-donut blend.  She did okay though, securing sissy's doubts about the red flag girl, and ultimately getting her seal of approval.  Did anyone else notice the disappointment in Ben's face and voice when he got the news that Lindzi was a keeper in Julia's eyes?

Courtney is up next and she immediately gets her defenses up, blaming the other girls being too 'judgey' on the dissention amongst them, trying to save herself from their criticisms and concerns. In true Court-the-manipulator fashion, she then turned on her 'sweet' side, and declared her undying love for Ben.  At first I thought Julia was smarter than that. I thought her spidey sense knew better, and I was cheering her on for creating doubts in Ben's mind...only to have her declare that she'd learned a hard lesson in not judging a book by its cover.  Did all the rest of America collectively GAG with me in that moment of time??  What the eff?? What about that ref flag, Julia??

So basically we all know at that moment who he'll choose since he got the family "approval", and Lindzi-with-a-zee's final date is just a formality.  He whisks her off in a horse and carriage (hey, at least there was a horse, right?), and they have a picnic in a gondola high above the snow-capped peaks.  Is that another zit on your face, Lindzi?  Once this is all over with you should be able to get a better handle on your complexion.  Ben reassures Lindzi that she's doing really well opening up about herself and her feelings.  Atta boy, Ben, stick that knife in a little deeper.  She ultimately confesses her undying love for him, and outwardly accepts the proposal that she's never ever going to actually hear him say.

Courtney's final date is next, and of course, they take another helicopter. They fly over the Matterhorn and picnic beside a lake, make snow angels, and go sledding.  {GAWD her voice irritates me.  That stupid baby talk is nauseating. How is she a model, anyway?}  She seals her fate with a scrapbook and a love letter.  I hear she borrowed her "vows" for the mock wedding from Sex & the City. I wonder what 'inspiration' she used for the letter?  Maybe it was more SATC - I've never been a big fan, so I don't know (lemme know if anything sounded 'familiar', all you SATC fans).  They have a bit of a fireside chat, and a familiar mood erupts, as she lays on more of a guilt-trip regarding Ben discussing her "issues" with the other girls with his family.

America prays for a change of heart...he continues to mention how 'risky' proposing to Courtney might be, and alludes to a few doubts...  Realistically if he just opted to avoid proposing to either one, he could save face..........

He faces Lindzi first, declaring that he'd "fallen in love with her" but it wasn't enough to last a lifetime (can't you just see the new zits forming on her poor face?)...and in true desperation mode, she declares, "if it doesn't work out, call me".  Really?  Really? Did you really just say that?  He chose Courtney OVER you, and you'd actually consider giving him another chance down the road to be sloppy seconds?  Wow.

Knowing he has something to fall back on, he announces to Courtney that she's his "forever" and does get down on bended frickin' knee...


I give them a frickin' month.

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