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Wednesday 3 February 2010

Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

When I was in junior high I had a major falling out with my group of friends. The details are fuzzy...it was 24 years ago (jebus chrisco. I'm OLD). I believe the whole falling out started with something stupid that was said between one friend and myself, perhaps something misunderstood or misconstrued... That friend gave me the silent treatment and from that point, one by one, the rest of the group started to alienate me and give the silent treatment. I guess the first one was like the ring leader of the group? I dunno. Thereafter the teasing started. Apparently one of them thought that I walked like a duck, so the nickname "Duckie" was coined. They'd giggle and whisper behind my back and call me Duckie and laugh some more. It sounds insignificant and trite now that I'm an adult, but back then, in the eyes of a 13 year old, it was devastating -- and I was without any friends, save 1 or 2 who were outside of that grouping. There weren't many days that I did not return home from school in tears.

One day I had my Dad go to the school to retrieve some books from my locker to do some homework. I had been out sick. He came home with a big grin on his face, handing me a little pink soap in the shape of a duck. It had been sitting on the shelf in my locker. He thought it cute, perhaps even a "get well" token...I dissolved into tears. One of them had gotten into my locker and left it there to taunt me.

From that point on, I made myself walk different. It took some time, but eventually I trained my feet to walk straight. Years later I have problems with my knee all the time. Coincidence? Who knows.

This "scenario" - for lack of a better term - lasted pretty much the 8th grade school year. It did little to aid the introvert that I was, I'll tell you that. One of the other girls in the group finally gave in and wanted to be friends again, and eventually, I've mended fences with the majority. Forgive and forget, right?

Periodically lately I feel like I'm back in junior high.

...

This morning the coffee maker spewed hot coffee all over the counter, down the dishwasher, and all over the floor. Like it does every morning. This morning I flipped out and screamed about it and Chris got the brunt of my anger, and I ended up leaving the house in a huff, without so much as a good bye.

...

I guess the whole point of this post is life is short. Words, or lack of words, can hurt. Communication is key, and lack of it can be hurtful.

Be kind to one another.

1 comment:

Lana said...

It sucks to take our anger out on the one's we love. I always TRY to have the last thing I say to Bruce either before either of us leave the house of hang up the phone to be "I love you". However, there are some days it's HARD. Hope your day shaped up to be better.
Love you!