Perhaps you'll see no rose your eye enjoys*

Ok let me start off by saying that I was rolling my eyes and cursing under my breath (ok, sometimes over my breath) the entire 120 minutes of last night's Bachelor. If you want proof, ask Julie or Tanya. Julie was kind enough to open up her home and supplied some delicious and healthy snacks. Thanks Julie!!

I'm now convinced Tenley and Jake are the exact same person. Their relationship could go one of two ways ... 1) They unite in blessed matrimony and continue their golly gee perfect lives in the town of Pleasantville where the flowers don't wilt, the grass doesn't die, and it never rains, snows or sleets. They will raise 2.5 perfectly healthy, smiling children. The children never spit up, get stuffy noses, cuss in front of their parents, or throw any temper tantrums. They'll dine on marshmallow clouds, blue popsicles and licorice and never get one cavity. The birds will sing a welcome tune each morning to greet them, and they will rise to greet each new day with a humungous smile, and a, "Golly GEE, it's great to be alive!!" ...or 2) Their worst nightmare becomes reality and they receive a classified letter marked "Urgent", only to read that they are actually fraternal twins and separated at birth. In true Romeo & Juliet style, they end their earthly existence in a love suicide.

I don't like Gia. Yes, her hideous laugh potentially has a a lot of power over my decision. I don't see her with Jake - he doesn't fit in with her and he doesn't fit into her wierd-looking little family.

Vienna is a ho-bag. If he chooses her, he'll end up with another heartbreak, guaranteed. And the potential for ugly children.

The drama (and omg the whining!) out of Ali last night made me happy she made the decision she did. No worries though - she'll pull an Ed and be back to claim her husband-to-be before the finale, you watch.

And why do I watch this show??

*from the poem, "Speaks a Wilted Rose" by Jerry Jax