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Wednesday, 2 December 2009

On cravings and balls

It started with a mild prodding based on a fellow FB'er's status message re: getting Chinese for her birthday supper. It intensified with the increasing hunger in my belly. It became clearly evident that my craving needed to be quelched. I needed eggrolls. When the King of Queens started and the first scene panned to Doug participating in a eggroll eating contest, I figured it was a sign from a higher power.

So the following MSN exchange ensued (bear in mind that the two of us, yes, were in the same house. Yes. We do live in a small home...within shouting distance between rooms... yet, we still communicate via MSN between our respective laptops. Call it nostalgic. Or lazy.). I've taken the liberty of censoring the bad words:

A: I'm craving eggrolls
so. Chinese?
or at least eggrolls?
You have just sent a nudge.

A: hellllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
C: go get'em
he in the freeezer should be tossed
A: who's in our freezer?
f#@k that seals it
KoQ has an eggroll eating contest
how many do you want?
answer me - I'm hungry
I'm not getting you any...
You have just sent a nudge.
You have just sent a nudge.
C: lol
the rattle thing does nothing on mac
Amber wants your attention!
that's what it does
not even a beep
no rattle
C: If you're going, I want five.
A: anything else?
C: nah
I'm good
A: sure?
what about beef & broccoli?
C: yep, been a rough gastrointestinal day.
no f#@king way (Chris really hates broccoli)
A: and 5 eggrolls will help?
i'm getting a half order of shrimp rice then
with mine
you're SURE? cuz I'm about to call it in.
C: I want six.
{muffled sound from the bedroom - just as I click the phone after thanking the nice lady for my order}
A: pardon? {"BALLS" a rather pained tone...}
you didn't type it
C: and chicken balls
A: I asked you THREE times
no balls foryou
I ordered rice and 9 eggrolls.
C: (I believe he's copied this at this point because he SWEARS he was typing it to me as I was on the phone - not sure where the original went on my chat window, then...)
nothing more.

rolls and balls
rolls and balls
rolls and balls
(then he starts new typing) oh now.
oh no.
oh well.
no balls for me.
unless you called quick
'cause they'd add it quick
cook in the same fat
do it
I can't call'em they won't believe me
A: what?
C: call for balls
chicken balls
me wanty
quick, add 'em
i'd do it for you
chris wants balllllllllls!
A: They said it'd be ready in 10 mins
NO balls.
A: you're not getting balls.
C: f#@k sakes call!!!
A: tooooooooooolate
it's too late
C: eff you.
A: you're tooooooooolate
C: it's not too late.
A: what?
C: eff you.
it's not too late.
even 5 minutes would be fine
say chris wants balls
{my hunger becomes my weakness}
A: 1/2?
C: full balls
A: good thing I love you
and I don't think you need a full order at all.
you'd better eat every freaking ball.
well, I might eat 21
C: i love balls
i love you for ordering my balls
A: I mean 1 or 2

Incidentally as I was typing this the Dragon's Den was on, and the first entrepreneur was pitching a ball bra (he didn'g get help from the Dragons). And incidentally, Chris only got a half order of chicken balls. And, I ate 1.

My craving was sated. And, Chris still loves me.

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