Raw

How I wish I could make it all better. Make him all better...take the pain you're facing all away...

We always live in some sort of denial when we're faced with the illness of a loved one. We can't picture our lives without this person...and have this unrealistic expectation that he or she will always be around. When faced with mortality and that sinking realization that we're just biding time until the inevitable, there's absolutely nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better.

Chris talked to his dad last night. His grandfather's cancer is in both lungs. The doctor was out to add some moisture to his oxygen because he had a hard time sleeping. He's also getting morphine. They're unsure if he'll make it to the summer.

I knew that without treatment Big Charlie didn't have a lot of time. I don't know that Chris had that same cognisance of the situation. The look of pain in his eyes as the realization clouded over him last night was heart breaking.

Sometimes, no matter how prepared you are, life still sucks.

I love you, Chris...and I hope my love will comfort the difficult road ahead.