Fresh out of the draft folder: a belated Christmas recount

I trust you all had a good holiday?  Mine was really nice.  To the Island's surprise, on Christmas Eve eve, we were treated to a beautiful blanketing of white snow, giving headway to a wonderfully white Christmas after all.  I felt like a little kid as I stared out of the window in excitement at the big fluffy flakes coming down.  That evening, Chris and I joined Lana and Keir for supper at Cedars. Lana & I have the tradition of going out for birthday shawarma on each of our respective birthdays, and we thought we should add a new birthday to that tradition, so we celebrated the baby Jesus' birthday too.  Thank you baby Jesus :).  From Cedars, we headed over to Lana's for a few drinks while she and I exchanged our gifts and then we moved from there to karaoke at the Murphy Center.  It was a fun night, indeed! 

As I had mentioned previously, this season was a little more relaxed for us visiting wise.  Chris' parents actually celebrated Christmas in Truro this year.  This marked the first year in about 18 years since they've done that.  It must have been nice for the family to be all together again Christmas morning.  From what I understand all of Chris' father's brothers and families were together with his Nannie.  On account of there being one less location to visit on Christmas Eve we were darned sure not to miss the Bowlan's annual Christmas Eve bash!  We arrived just as the party was revving up, ate a litany of yummy goodies and had some great chats catching up with some people we only see once a year at this particular function.  As usual, Rhonda B, hostess with the mostest, was in the thick of it all, ensuring to give each and every guest some time, all the while making sure the goodies remained well-stocked. She's truly a superwoman.  Thanks again, Bowlans, for your rockin' hospitality!  After the Bowlans we headed to Mom's for a visit with her and Todd then back home.

Merry Christmas from us to youuuu!! 

Christmas morning was a leisurely wake up and we were able to take our time opening gifts and having breakfast (consisting of some just-like-Dad-used-to-make stuffing omelettes...hashtag that as 'Christmas to me' for all you tweeters). As in years prior, we were sufficiently spoiled. Many, many thanks to all of you for your kind gifts and special surprises! We were able to get the house back in order and dishes done before heading back to Mom's for turkey supper. In our turkey comas we then convened in the living room to watch a movie before heading back to the 'hood for a snoozin'. 

Boxing Day we headed back again to Mom's. Fred and Belinda just arrived that day. It was Belinda's Christmas gift to Fred for him to see Mom. We gathered together to enjoy some holiday spirits, laughs and take-out. On the 27th we joined Chris' parents at their home for a belated supper to 'end' our Christmas celebrations.  The idea now is for us to host the Christmas supper next year (err, this year), and have everyone gather here in our teeny tiny kitchen.  It sounds a little chaotic and maybe a little crazy, but it just might be the start of a fun new tradition. 

I hope you all had a magical Christmas season with you own friends and families - and I hope you were able to form a few blessed memories that will last you a lifetime...xo

2012

Well, here we are, 14 days into the start of a new year.  I normally try never to make a huge list of resolutions because you all know that I just hate setting myself up for failure.  That, and it's my own way of figuratively wearing a really big bulky sweater (more life oversized blanket) to disguise (hide) the over-fluffy that has become my fluffy.  Seriously people, I happened to glance in the closet mirror last night as I stooped on the bed folding laundry and had to swallow back the vomit that filled my mouth in reaction to my own reflection.  I have a huge affection for Reitmans-wear, and I had started to joke with myself that my size is fine til "I can't fit into the plus-size Reitmans-wear".  I think I'm upon an epiphany here...one, seeing my own reflection that I try to avoid mostly, and two, fearing that I won't fit into the new-still-tags-on jeans from Reitmans that were 'slightly snug' when I bought them undoubtedly many pounds ago.  *sigh*.  So, the eggnog is probably now bad in the fridge.  Most of the Christmas chocolate has been eaten (I did have a little help, but, I'm still not proud). It's time to start cutting back on the crap again and start to get my heart pumping (and I mean for a longer interval than reaching the top of the stairs at work).  I may or may not blog about it. But, I gotta get a handle on it. Til then, this shall still be my motto for the new year that is upon us:

Number one priority, fluffy or not, is to spend the next 12 months trying to be as happy as I possibly can.  So far, since just after Christmas, I've learned of 5 deaths...all close enough in proximity that I know loved ones of each family.  Another one is expected, as the person has just been admitted into palliative care recently.  In addition, I've learned of 1 marriage break-up and 1 on the cusp. These sad statistics break my heart and make me feel sick inside.  Hey Universe, you can stop any time, ya hear? 

Happiness isn't a guarantee, and life truly is a gift.  I'm going to try to give it my all.  Why don't ya'll join me? Let's kick 2012 in the ass...

I will remember you...

People say you never forget your first.  Todd was my first.  He was the first boy to tell me he loved me.  He was the first boy to break my heart into a million little pieces.  I was 17.  He was 19.  We'd met through my friend Lori's older brother, Paul.  Todd and Paul hung out together. The two of us met at Lori & Paul's house. Both Lori & Paul had a few friends in while their parents were away.  We took a shine to each other that night, and began dating that week.  I was in my final year of high school and I was so excited to have a boyfriend that I would be able to take to the prom with me.  I ordered my grad ring that year, and opted for the one with the stone inside.  Most who chose the stone ordered the ruby stone, since our school colours were red and white.  I, on the other hand, ordered the bright blue stone.  The stone closest to the colour of Todd's eyes (I kid you not).  Unfortunately, Todd had a wandering eye, and he let it wander when he was still dating me, and that ultimately led to our parting.  I took him back briefly, but as I couldn't trust him, it didn't last very long the second time.  I ended up going to the prom with a boy that I didn't know.  After my 'back up' date fell through very close to the prom date, my father set me up to go with a boy that worked in his office. Dad thought he was a nice kid.  It was late in the year, and everyone else had been asked, and I sure didn't want to go alone.  I actually considered asking Todd to take me, even for old time sake, but at the time, he was involved with another girl.

Life carried on.  I had several more heartbreaks thereafter, learning something from each one.  I ran into Todd a few times in between, and each time there was always something in his eye...something that told me that he still cared... neither of us let it go any further than that though.  Jump ahead 20 years, Todd found himself married with kids.  We reconnected again via Facebook, but didn't see each other again in person until just before Christmas last year.  I ran into him at Home Hardware.  He was there waiting for his brother to go to lunch.  A brother he just found out he had.  He was so happy to have found him. We talked that day for a really long time.  We remininsced.  He had a few health problems that he had alluded to. No details, aside from the fact that he commented that he felt it was life's way of getting back at him for treating some people in his life (like me) so badly.  We parted, smiling and shared a hug. I was happy for him  that he had a good family and home.  I was happy for me, too, being in a steady, mutually satisfying relationship.  Life had gone on. I no longer remembered the 'bad times' or the hurt that Todd caused. We were friends, and that felt good.

***
Last week, I got a message from Lori. She was sharing some news about Todd.  He had been sent to the hospital in Halifax.  He was unconscious, and the outlook, grim.  Not usually one for praying, I prayed that day.  I prayed that he'd recover.  I prayed for his young family.  That message arrived on Thursday.  On Saturday, a further message had arrived advising me that the doctors were giving him 2 days. I was floored.  In shock.  How could this be happening?  On Monday, a further note arrived to let me know that they were taking him off life support that day.  Within a few more hours, he was gone. 

He was 41 years old.  He left behind a wife, and 4 kids, 18 years, 7 years, 4 years and 1 year.  He stayed home with those kids after some health problems prevented him from working outside the house. Daddy being home is all those young kids know.  Now Daddy is not there.  They're too young to comprehend what has happened.  They're undoubtedly calling out for him.  The youngest won't even remember him.  I'm just crushed thinking about it.  How will his family ever get over this?  No parent should ever have to bury their own child.  No son or daughter should grow up without knowing his or her father.

I'm so sad.

You broke my heart once before Todd, and now, my heart is broken again.  I cry for a life lost much, much too soon.  I cry for your wife. Your loss will be unbearable for her. I cry for your children. Tyler had an opportunity to know you as a wonderful father, and your loss will be a void that will never ever be filled for him.  Jock, Sadie and Willa are still so young...they will cry out for you.  They will not understand why you aren't in the room anymore.  Jock will remember you, but the memories will be so distant.  Sadie and Willa may not be able to hang on to any early memories at all.  Watch out for them...

Rest in peace, my dear friend.  Thank you for the memories you have given me. I will never, ever, forget you.

~ A friend who dies, it's something of you who dies.
Gustave Flaubert

"Blakely is super flakely"*

Wow, the Bachelor is really starting out seriously by bringing all the girls to Ben's hometown right at the start, huh?  Sorry I'm a few days late. I just got around to watching this week's drama tonight, so play along with me, ya'll.  Am I right, or am I right?

• Date 1 with Kacie B - she seems like a keeper. I really like her, and I thought their date was really quite charming til the only-used-at-weddings-video they played.  That was way too over the top, in my opinion.
• Courtney is a biOTch!
• The group date was fun.  If you want an honest opinion, ask a kid.  I adored their reaction to Blakeley.  Bang on, they were!! Oh, and by the way...I totally thought Ben's character's name was "Prince PEDO". I literally had to rewind it and watch it again to get it right. 
• I do not enjoy Blakely. At all.  However, I do hope he keeps her around for a bit longer, because I do enjoy the catty comments about her from the others.
• Date 2 with Courtney - I don't like her. I don't trust what she says.  She's conceited, and she has the potential to break Ben's heart. The best part of that date was watching the dog howl.
• Um. Jenna, you state your profession is blogger. So you type for a living. You type words into cohesive sentences, right? So, you should be good with words, right? Good at getting your points across, right?  Ok then, what.the.EFF was that display with your one-on-one opportunity? Your final declaration, "I'm not like a girl", just about made it's way to the post title.  For the love of the sweet baby Jesus, get your sh!t together if you ever want to try to find true happiness.  No, we're NOT kidding you.
• A few catty comments...Samantha's dress:  Does forcing your skin together tightly with duct tape to make homemade cleavage really work for you? Really? And Lindzi with a zee... you commented on your one-on-one time that your normal make up was mud. Did you roll around in the dirt before the rose ceremony because your foundation was ALL shades of wrong, girlfriend. You really ought to beg a few of the others for some beauty tips.

Yeah, I guess that's about it.  What's that? A return of an old girlfriend next week?  Can hardly wait.  Probably a good thing that Jenna won't be around to deal with that, eh?

*Thanks to Jaclyn for the appropriate post title

girls + booze = DRAMA (otherwise known as your first Bachelor post)

I'm due for a post-holiday update. Okay, overdue.  Seems to be the story of My Happy Place's life lately.  I'll get to that.  In the midst of three loads of laundry I found myself immersed in yet another season of the Bachelor tonight. I'll be honest, I was considering letting this one go without commentary.  Who're we kidding, though? The ridiculous antics and premise of this show really generate colorful blog fodder in an otherwise barren time of year, right?  So, without further ado, we've just met our various hopefuls, and here are my first impressions:

- Of course we have to have our standout Canuck in a sea of American girls.  The Baconator. Hmm.  She's no Jillian, though, eh? Is Ben a vegetarian? 
- Now Lindzi, I can understand you wanting to stand out in front of the other 24 girls, but, do you REALLY think smelling like a horse was a good idea?  Suppose it's one way of making a first impression.  Congrats on your first impression rose.
- And the blonde snubbing Ben at the entrance. She's another Canadian. I'm not so proud that she is and perhaps she isn't either after Ben just finished snubbing her, too (good on ya, Ben!).
-The British one has more to worry about people making fun of the ginormous schnozz more than the bum dimple on her chin, in my humble opinion.  Looks sure aren't everything, of course. Let's hope she's got something, then (for the record, she annoyed the crap out of me within the first 20 seconds, and I will NOT miss her).
-Bringing Grandma along for the ride when you know he's a real family man, Brittney.  Hmm...that just might have worked for you...
-Shira needs a cheeseburger.  Or twenty.
-So you were in a beauty pageant, huh?  Sure. Wear that sash. Wear that sash, everywhere. Yeah.  And it seems apparent that you feel that sash nullifies the fact that you should brush your hair.
-I predict the blogger chick to be our season's unstable-on-the-verge-of-breakdown girl. What do you think? She's bound to make things interesting, though.
-Hey, Ms. Kentucky:  your hat looks STUPID.
-Just a general question:  When stepping out of the limo to make your very first impression on a man, is a ponytail your best look? Really?
-The model is so not here to find a man. Publicity, sure. Ben? Nah.

Oh the drama.... You love it too, don't ya?

reminder to search for the true meaning...

So the countdown is on.  Officially, we have only 3 more sleeps til Christmas day.  I've been ready for a while now, including even baking up a few batches of cookies (and if you know me at all, I NEVER BAKE. One of the recipes wasn't even from a pre-made mix!  It might have only been three ingredients, but I mixed them up with my own bare hands!).  Don't get on me though, I actually have 2 more gifts to wrap, and I can't wrap them, because they're not done. And I'm waiting on Christopher to complete them so I can wrap them.  And his poor brother will be opening up a belated Christmas gift because we couldn't fit our heads together to come up with a suitable something to forward along to the poor bugger.  Sorry Shawn!  I promise a little goodie is coming your way soon! 

This past weekend, there was a slight, slight snowfall, and on Sunday night we hit the road to Rustico to view the lights (good thing, too, because it appears we'll be having a green Christmas after a few days of milder temps melting the little snow we did have). Monday night I attended Todd MacLean's music school Christmas concert (starring my dear Chris playing "Greensleeves").  Tuesday night, I shared a lovely evening with some of my best girlfriends with our annual gift exchange, and I've been treated to two lovely dinners for Chris' work Christmas parties.  I've been feeling the little anticipatory butterflies of the holiday excitement, and really have started to look forward to a few happy surprises and quality time spent with my family and friends.  I love Christmas. I'm especially looking forward to it this year, because my momma will be home!  She's been in Ontario the last few years, and it just isn't the same when your family isn't close.  Fred & Belinda are joining us here on the Island on Boxing Day, too. 

Life, as it seems to always do, however, interrupts the reverie to give a devastating reality check.  While I sit in my own little bubble of happiness and dream of sugar plums and all such things, 5 families are forever changed.  Last week, on their way to the airport, 2 young PEI boys along with an Alberta resident were murdered.  Another PEI girl is fighting to recover in an Alberta hospital. Doctors claim that it's a miracle that she wasn't killed.  The incident appears to have been a random act - one that was domestic in nature. One of his victims was an ex-girlfriend of the shooter. The shooter, after having fired many rounds at his intended victims then turned the gun on himself, and he too, died from his wounds. 

I've been wanting to write a post related to this event since it happened, but I haven't been able to put anything into words. Four families have lost a son or daughter.  Their family circle is broken, and while time will mend it somewhat, it will never be the same shape again. A horrific circumstance of 'wrong place, wrong time' proving our own mortality, and the ugly face of reality...I can't get my head around it. My cursor has been flashing in the same spot for so long.  I've typed, and typed over, and re-typed and then removed what I've typed...My heart aches thinking about those poor families and friends of the victims.  The survivor, though so, so fortunate to have escaped this tragedy with her own life, now has to live with the horrific memories of what happened, and the loss of three of her dear friends (one was her boyfriend).  The scope of what she must be feeling is unimaginable.  I pray for her, and for the families of the other victims. May they find the strength to deal with this tragedy, and somehow move on from it...

Christmas is a magical time of year. For those people who have lost a loved one, though, it can be especially hard.  As you're hurrying and busying yourselves getting prepared for the festivities to come, please, please take a few moments to reflect on what is truly important in life, and  remember what the real meaning of Christmas is.  Never leave things unsaid, and treasure every available ounce of time you have with those people that mean so much to you.  Life is a gift.

Are you ready?

Well folks, you'll be glad that I spared you all the frantic, "omg it's only 4 weeks from Christmas; omg it's only 3 weeks from Christmas and I have NOTHING done".  It's currently 2 weeks from Christmas, and aside from a few bows, tags, and gift bags, I'm DONE!  That's right. Done.  The tree has been up and trimmed for two weeks. The cards (albeit, store-bought on account of my wrist issues) are addressed and ready to go in the mail. The gifts are bought, wrapped and under the tree.  Heck, I even have Chris' stocking stuffed.  And, I'm not gonna lie...it feels damn good! 

Per my usual routine, I took the first full week of December off from work and stayed on 'staycation' to accomplish the preparations for Christmas in the 'hood. I truly don't know how or if I'd get it done otherwise.  Of course, there will still be some final loose ends we'll need to do, like a run to the grocery store and the liquor store.  And of course the house still needs a good scrubbing (which, instead of blogging, I should be doing right now).  However,  I plan to completely and utterly ignore, avoid and boycott the malls altogether, and sit in front of my fake led-lit tree and electric fire, sipping on a mug of coffee and Baileys and just let it all happen :).

How are your preparations going?  I hope you're all making it as stress-free as humanly possible.  If not, go a little heavier on the Baileys hand - it might help :)