No I didn't. Yes you did.

The other day Chris remarked to me, "Knocked Up is on Netflix.  I started watching it this morning. It's pretty good!" 

I remarked, "You've seen it". 

"No, I didn't", he replied.

"Yes, you did", I insisted. 

"No".

"Yes".

"No".

"Yes. We went to the drive-in. I probably have the stub somewhere", I said. 

Not long after, my Facebook notifier announced that Chris had updated his status: "I'm watching Knocked Up on Netflix. I think it's a pretty funny movie - I'm pretty sure I haven't seen it before. Amber says we saw it at the drive in but no part of this movie is familiar to me. I think she went with the girls to the theater.  I think she's currently in the other room searching for the ticket stub to prove me wrong. Did you see Knocked Up with Amber? Or am I destined to be wrong?"

A futile search later,  I was left empty-handed. I know there's a stub somewhere.  During my search he poked his head in the room.  A cocky smirk on his face, wondering how I was getting along - certain I was looking for a stub that "didn't exist".  A shout out to my friend and loyal blog follower, Jodi, who commented that perhaps I'd blogged it. Brilliant!!  I start by using the handy-dandy "search" option on the blog. Nothing. Crap.  I KNEW I saw it just after it was released to theatres. Being together so frickin' long of course it had to be with Chris, right?  Then I thought, well, I suppose, maaaaybe it could have been another guy. So I google the year the movie was released. 2007. Ok, well it had to be Chris. Confirmed. I knew it was the drive-in, so I started in the month of July searching the archives, and lo and behold my boring mundane update post from July 22 had the key I was looking for: http://amber-myhappyplace.blogspot.ca/2007/07/happy-sunny-finally-sunday-all-windows.html

Saved by the blog! Do you know he had the audacity to suggest I might have typed that up and pretended it was written in 2007? :O  Good thing he's cute!  So in addition to proving my undoubted rightness, I've also come to the conclusion of a very important discovery:   I should get back to blogging - it might help me win a few more arguments in the future!

Cat Saturday

See?  Watching Zoe clean herself is more exciting that watching this season of the Bachelorette.

For my boring life in pictures, my IG profile is open.

I just don't think I can do it

To anyone that might have happened upon my blog in search of Bachelor/Bachelorette highlights, albeit, late ones, I apologize.  To those who read this blog for everything but Bachelor/Bachelorette highlights, come back, because I am going to try to post more often about my actual life.

I still don't feel a bit guilty that Juan Pablo didn't get any blog time. He's still a douche.  Upon a new season again, I started to give the rundown of the Andi season.  I have a post started in drafts and I think we're now on episode 4? I just can't bring myself to do it. My heart's not in it. I don't have any pull by any of the guys, save one.  And well, Andi... Andi clean drives me batshit crazy.  I thought I liked her in JP's season. I'm guessing now that JP's over-the-top douchebaggery made anyone else look better?  Now - having her be the 'star', I just wanna backhand her.  Her overuse of "Ya'll" (told ya didn't I?), and "Stop!!" make me wanna punch things.  And that Grumpy Cat look she gets on her face when she's concentrating on something someone is saying to her, with the quick and frequent, "Mmm hmms"... And don't get me STARTED on the whining and the hormonal crying spasms.

Sorry. I just can't do it.  I don't care who she ends up with. I hope she ends up happy, because I truly don't wish anyone any ill will. I'm just not sure I can give the show the attention it deserves to pop out a highlight reel on a weekly basis.  Maybe this is a sign that I oughta dust off this blog for what I had originally intended it to be - an outlet to improve my writing skills; a journal of sorts to remember some of the important times in my life that is passing me by so quickly?  

Back to go try to finish off this episode. I've paused it and done so many things in between, including instagramming my cat, that I may never get through it.

Happy Saturday :)

A loss so profound...

Last Thursday morning, I walked toward my car to go to work and was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sadness as I thought about how easy it is to take for granted the freedom we have with the simplest of things such as being able to leave the house and go about daily life without fear, or looking over one's shoulder. I thought about my neighbors next door in Moncton who were, at the time, locked into their houses with strict instructions to stay inside, doors and windows locked, and retreat to their basements for safety.  A manhunt was ongoing to locate, and capture, an individual who had opened fire in a residential area. His target was the police. And he succeeded in his quest - slaying 3 members, and injuring 2 more.  The shooter managed to evade capture, and heighten fear, for nearly 30 hours until he was successfully and quietly detained by law enforcement without further injury to anyone else.  I'm not going to talk about the shooter. I'm not going to mention his name. I'm not going to glorify him in any way, shape, or form. Suffice it to say he will get his comeuppance.  And it will be just.   

After 30 hours the fear that had gripped a community, a province, a region, was replaced by unimaginable grief and sadness felt by an entire country.  Fallen, in the line of duty, were three members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.  Three fathers.  Three sons.  Three husbands.  Three friends.  Three heroes...murdered at the exact moment they were running in to protect...

I will name them:

(L-R)
Cst. Douglas James Larche, 40, married, and father to 3 girls, ages 4, 8 & 9 years.
Cst. Dave Ross, 32, married, father to 1 1/2 year old son,  and another baby due at the end of the summer.
Cst. Fabrice Georges Gevaudan, 45, married, stepfather to an 8 year old girl.

...

Words cannot convey the heaviness in my heart that I feel for the families and friends of these young men.  These brave individuals paid the ultimate sacrifice.  They volunteered their lives to serve and protect - to walk into the line of fire when the rest of the world runs away in fear.  Their loss signifies that the people who do protect our streets, and our cities and towns are not superhuman.  They are not invincible.  And now, they are just a memory.  Six children will grow up in a home without a father.  Three wives will sleep beside an empty space where their husband used to lay.  Countless friends and comrades will have a gap in their social circle that will never close again.

To the brave men and women who protect our cities, thank you.  To the family, friends, and comrades of the fallen officers, my deepest and most sincerest of condolences.  In the words of, Asst Commissioner Roger Brown, "Cst. Gevaudan; Cst. Ross; and, Cst. Larche, to your post.  Dismissed." 

Rest in peace.

Roses, strippers and drunken debachery: not my weekend, the Bacherlorette, of course

A return to blogging....and the subject of which?  Why, the Bachelorette, of course ;).  I didn't bother blogging about last season's Bachelor, because let's face it, Juan Pablo is a complete and utter douche. And, I just couldn't bring myself to commemorate a damn thing about that season, even if it was to make fun of him on a weekly basis.  Eeee's ok, right? ;)

So Andi Dorfman, the smart girl who caught on to JP's douche-baggery is our next Bachelorette.  I liked her on JP's season, and look forward to what this season has in store.  Having seen the first 2 episodes, her over-use of "ya'll" might be my biggest pick so far.  And maybe her gown choice.  Not that they're not beautiful (the first night's pale pink/silver bedazzled one was stunning) - but, she obviously feels uncomfortable in them the way she carries herself.  Honey, if you don't want your boobs to fall out, choose one with a slightly higher neckline, perhaps? *shrug*.  Oh, and perhaps her veer to the over-dramatic a few episodes in, too. So the guy had a little too much to drink. Kick him out if it offends you.  Ask the producers to reduce the unending flow of available liquor.  But, freak out, in tears, wondering, "What's going on??", and accuse them all of not having the right intentions for being there?  Really?  I thought you were a smart, professional woman of class? Hmm. Maybe you'll have to keep trying to convince me.

So it's still early, but so far, I took a liking to the firefighter (why is he gone already, Andi? Why?), the farmer, and I think that little Nick V. fella is just too cute for words. The ex-pro basketball player gives me the skeevies and I don't trust him; there's an inner snake just dying to get out.  Cody, the beefy personal trainer reminds me of Jeff Dunham's Bubba J.  And seriously, what the eff is a pantapreneur??  Chris Bukowski's attempt to gain access to the house, and Andi's heart, was laughable. I'm glad he was ball-busted from the start.  WTF, fella? Go get a life, already. You're a loser.

And, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the person this season is dedicated to.  Eric Hill, who sadly passed away shortly after filming of the season ceased, was an early favourite for women everywhere, no doubt. His untimely passing makes this season so heart-breaking.  I think the show handled what happened in a tasteful fashion - but I cannot fathom what it must be like to those closest to him, watching the show.  Rest in peace, Eric, your candle was snuffed all too early....

So. Hi. Thanks for reading.  Tell me - are you watching, too? Who's your favourite? Or your favourite to hate? 

Along came the spiders...

It started out like any other Friday.  I was working the late shift that day, but despite the later start time, I, as usual, left it to the very last second to leave the house. Upon reaching the driver door I noticed a cluster of evil perched between the driverside mirror and the door itself.  I was too panicked to take a photo with my phone so the googled image here will have to be enough of a descriptor for you:

Cluster of evil:

A baby spider, on its own isn't overly threatening. No.  But when you get seventy-billion in a cluster like that, the threat grows exponentially.  All I could think about was ridding the car of the threat.  I quickly rummaged around in my purse for something to help...nothing.  I carefully opened the door and grabbed a napkin.  Working quickly, I separated the nest from the car, threw the napkin down to the pavement with excessive force, and stomped furiously on it.  Some attempted to escape, as I could see little things moving all around the napkin and by my foot, and to my horror:  ON MY PERSON.  Yes, there was also a number of them walking up my pant leg!!  Using the opposite foot I tried to dispose of the threat.  I shimmied around and batted at my leg with my other foot. Upon nearly losing balance, I then opted to remove my sandal to actually beat them off me.  Redneck Highland jig, several shrieks, and sandal-beating later, I felt satisfied that I ridded my person of the threat and then got in the car (of course my brain still felt them crawling; all over me, I could feel them all.over.me.). 

Secure in the safety of the vehicle, I noticed that my initial napkin scoop hadn't really finished the job.  There were several all over the window.  Now what I'm about to tell you is VERY IMPORTANT.  Take heed.  Learn my lesson.  If you find yourself in the middle of a similar predicament, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT,  OPEN THE WINDOW!  The fact that I'd just had a family of baby arachnids on my person no doubtedly hampered with all reason and sensibility because I opened it.  I opened the god-damned window.  Suddenly, a whole new crop of baby spiders were now crawling INSIDE MY CAR, down the window and down the door, trying to get back to my person!  I shrieked, flew the door open and then grabbed my sandal to do my best at slamming and bamming them into smithereens.  When the sandal stopped working, I grabbed a handful of napkins to finish the job (the only good thing about them being baby spiders is they were too small to be juicy. And, God bless the drive-thru staff at Dairy Queen for their heavy napkin hand).

Fighting the urge to run back in the house to shower I had to go to work; time was ticking and I would be lucky at this point if I even made it there on time.  Parked, I then enlist the help of another night shift arriver to give me a once-over. She said she didn't see any.  I still felt them crawling. 

I made it to work on time, and I got through my shift despite ending it with a few less layers of skin from the scratching.  And only 1 more baby spider had to be sacrificed from the inside of my car that night.  I haven't yet quite figured out a new plan of attack if I'm faced with a future car nest. Other than never, ever opening the window again. Ever.

...climbed up the waterspout...

Might I just add that NOT long after the sink spider incident, I discovered the following ginormous creature in the bathtub!

Proof to my theory that those icky, disgusting things live in the deep, dark depths of the drain pipes.  Chris wasn't home when it reared its girthy frame so I knew I was on my own.  I DID, however, attempt to coerce Bosco to be the saviour of the day.  He and Zoe both do enjoy playing with the odd creepy crawly.  As Zoe's *ahem* stature isn't condusive to quick-play, Bosco won the choice in cat, and I thought I'd likely be home free.  I grab him, coax him into the tub, asking him to, "Get that spider for Mummy!! Get that spider!!".  Bosco immediately made an extremely hasty retreat from the tub as fast as he left my arms.  It was as if I'd introduced him to the devil himself.  Not wanting to take the chance on another fail, I opted out of grabbing Zoe from her slumber, and instead grabbed the nearly-full 1.5L bottle of shampoo and went to work.  The death was fairly quick, but I did mush a few extra heaves at it with the bottle.  When I was convinced the spider could not reincarnate I then took an empty toilet paper tube and flicked him from the bottom of the shampoo bottle into the waiting toilet bowl and sent him a-flush. You can never be too sure, ya know.