"Tierra-ble"

It seems like every show begins on a high note, doesn't it?  One tip, however, the clips from the walk-in closet were too quick, producers!  Work on that for the next one, would ya? {#Seanhasthecutestbum}

Selma gets the first one-on-one date and they get the red-carpet treatnent as they take off in a private jet in their sneakers and Lululemons, landing in the desert.  They rock climb in Joshua Tree National Park, and after conquering her fear of heights and sweat, Selma gets to trade in her hiking sneakers for her 6 inch heels as they have dinner at a quaint little trailer park (??). Sean's eager lips go unrequited, though, as Selma explains her strict religious Arabic background. He'll be some horny if he keeps her around til the end, eh wha?

A huge thank you to whomever doctored up this pic ;)

A skating rink is the setting of the group date and the girls suit up for an old fashioned battle of roller derby.  Sarah has a melt-down because she only has one arm.  Amanda lies to them all about having had previous derby experience, and then, in her over-confidence bites it so bad she fractures her jaw.  Since the medics had to be called in, Sean decides that instead of having an actual ass-kickin' bout, they should just opt to have a free skate around the rink.  {And, as I see them all glide around to the sound of Journey I'm feeling very melancholy as I remember the fun times I had at Skate Country.  Man, I still miss that place.  I bet I wouldn't be a fat girl if that place still existed.  Thanks Dave Beaton; you made me fat.}  Tierra has a hissy fit (complete with a snorty ugly cry, that is), threatens to leave the house entirely, and Sean coddles her with the group rose.  Classic manipulation 1, innocent Sean, 0.

Leslie H is awarded the second one-on-one date.  To prepare Leslie for her evening out Sean sends her diamond earrings, and they go shopping Pretty Woman-style on Rodeo Drive to find an outfit to match her new bling {She looks no more like Julia Roberts than I do; if anything, I think she resembles a giraffe}.  Dressed to the nines, the two share dinner, and although Sean teasingly holds the rose in his hand in front of her,  he simply explains why he can't give it to her because he has no romantic feelings, and sends her to ride off into the sunset. Least she has a pair of pretty earrings to take back home with her, though, right?

The rose ceremony ends with a bruised Amanda walking to the waiting limo. You'd think he'd at least have given her a pity rose til her bruised jaw healed a little, wouldn't you?  Oh that Sean, he's just full of surprises,  though, isn't he?

*A rather fitting title; thanks to one of the girls for a delightful play-on- words.  She is NOT the cute little innocent I thought she was on night one.  The drama is fun though :)