"...I feel like I'm on my way to finding my wife..."

I'm late with this. Sorry lovelies. We had company over last night, so I ended up having to record Monday's episode of the Bachelor and am just watching it now. As it played out, here are my thoughts:

• To the mentally unstable chick who "spent all that money on clothes", and "quit her job": OF COURSE Brad will fall in love with you! You totally will be the last woman standing for those two reasons alone! *massive eye roll*. (PS - you should have spent the money you wasted on the clothes on a better boob job).
• Bahahahahahaah!!! Date #1 and Brad brings out his inner carny!!!!
• Does Ashley H talk with her hands like that allllll the time, or is just nerves?
• Alli= Jennifer Garner's double?
• "You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you" - song lyrics by Train from Brad's date with Jackie. HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THIS LYRIC????!
• OMG did he just use the term, "irregardless"????!
• Keltie - if the Bachelor is your 'last ditch effort' you should probably seek the help of a trusted professional.
• The drama between Melissa & Raichel was the most entertaining part of the show. If you ask me, Melissa is just jealous of Raichel's boobs. (Jumping Jesus - in one breath she's snuffing and crying over how stressed she is...and in the next breath, giggling over potential onion breath?). It really is too bad that Brad had to kibosh it so quickly, don't you think?

Another 90 or so odd minutes of my life I'll never get back. At least it's a little blog fodder ;).