"I don't like tall, skinny and condescending"

I am late again; thankfully I have on-demand so can still keep on top of those important things like The Bachelorette.  Chris gets the first one-on-one date and Emily lets him know that they have a dinner date to get to, assuring him they have the "best view" in town.  And suddenly, we're back to regular Bachelorette-fashion, and the metaphor of life and how it's the exact same as climbing a tall building as they slowly climb their way skyward via a thin rope under a sky of lightning {though, I didn't see much rain, did you?}.{and no, Chris, love isn't really like climbing a building, but, did the directors tell you to comment that?}  Chris does his best to convince Emily that he is a perfect match for her, despite the fact that he's only 25, and she asks if he'd like the rose, despite some earlier reluctance on her face.  They end their date dancing to some country song on the street courtesy of a live country street party.  It's bound to be love.  {the bigger she smiles, the more I'm convinced that's a flipper}

The group date gets a special surprise as they meet some of Emily's bestest friends who give them all the third degree. Jebus, I didn't know the egg had a name.  "Shelly" - yeah, that's witty.  Does anyone else believe that "Wolf" didn't cheat before?  If Sean doesn't happen to make the cut, I think Emily has a friend who will gladly 'entertain' him.  After the grilling ended, suddenly Emily blows a whistle and a crowd of rugrats flood the playground {God I'm bored}, so Emily can get a bird's eye view of how the men see how the pretty boys interact with them {a true 'father test, right?}.  Ryan steals away for some alone time {maybe he really doesn't like kids and needed to get away?}, but then commented something along the lines of making sure she didn't get fat after children or some such thing?  Suddenly he's very, very ugly in my eyes. Very.  Tony has a mini-meltdown as he misses his son, and Emily does the right thing and sends the poor guy home.  No point in stringing him along when he could be spending QT with the little fella.  And Emily's bestie had best cool her loins just yet, because Sean walks away with the group rose for the night.

Arie is selected for the final one-on-one date  {I was happy he was selected, mostly so I could see Kalon sulk because it wasn't his date}. Pretty sure Arie was looking forward to something to do with racing after he read his date card, but, nope, no racing - they fly to Tennessee on a private plane and go to Dollywood instead, complete with a surprise entrance of Dolly herself {"It's Dolly Friggen Parton; I could die"}.  Dolly's had enough plastic 'assistance' she looks like she could be Emily's mother.  Dolly indicates she sees a potential something in Arie and Emily, and I have to admit, too, that there does appear to be a connection.  As no surprise to Dolly (despite an attempt to joke), Emily gives Arie the rose.

At the cocktail party, Kalon proved his capital-D douchery to a TEE as he interrupted her so he could keep talking, and then revealed that he wanted his first kid to be his own, and not another man's. Egg-guy takes "Shelly" over to Emily and tells her he thinks it's "time" for Shelly to be broken, and the poor egg is smashed onto the ground.  Alessandro is granted some one-on-one conversation, and he admits that having a relationship with someone who had a child to be a 'compromise'....  Surely her choices for the evening should be extremely easy... {well I guess one choice was after seeing Alessandro being put in the limo even BEFORE the rose ceremony. Hahaha!!! And, as an aside, I loved the kissy time she had with Arie as he 'comforted' her in her descision}.

Getting a rose that SHOULDN'T have:  Ryan-who-is-now-ugly-because-he-doesn't-like-fat-people, Wolf-who-we-know-from-his-body-language-has-cheated, and Kalon-the-douche.  WTF, Emily???

I say this every season, but, again, I don't think I can get through this entire season...... Are YOU still watching?