"the offspring of an ostrich and Elton John..."*

One of these nights I might actually post my thoughts right after the show airs:

• I loved, loved, loved the love lantern thing.  The shot of them all flying out into the night sky was awesome.
• So it would appear that Ben the winemaker is sharing a little chemistry, hmm?  What, with them forgoing their individual rooms before being invited by Chris Harrison to do so....tsk, tsk.
• JP's jealousy is unattractive.  I wonder if crying and whining to get what he wanted worked for him as a child?
• While Ames did look ridiculous in the hideous pastel tux, my favourite shots from the group photo shoot where theirs, actually.
• Ames looks like Elvis Presley & Harry Connick Jr's love child.  And what guy wears red pants if they're not up on a stage performing?
• That 'umm hmmm' thing that Ashley does (followed by the whole lick lip thing) is grating on my last nerve....
• Waiiitaminute -- are those pants actually FUCHSIA???  Yes, yes, I think so; cuz those pillows are definitely red, and they're nowhere near the colour of those pants.  I repeat my last comment about what kind of guy wears fuchsia pants if they're not up on stage performing... and multiply that by 12.
• Ryan's a wiener.  "Cloud 10"....*barf*.  Maybe his melodramatics will convince the producers that he should be the next Bachelor.  Oh God I hope not.
• Lucas stepped down with grace.
• Ok, I take back my comment re: the 'umm hmmm' thing, and change my mind to the heaving-snort-back-bucket-loads-of-snot-while-dabbing-daintily-at-her-eyes-CRYING grating on my last nerve!
• Attention Chris Harrison:  Brad & Emily were NOT meant to be, and it never really seemed that way, either.
• Is "dot dot dot" now an official "Bachelorette-term"?
• Ok maybe I was just so bored that I lost my attention span, but why did Emily & Brad break up?

*Alternate title: "It's not a dress; it's a long shirt"