"This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy. " **

My 20 year reunion from high school took place a few weekends ago. I'd love to report back that the all-time school bitch is still a bitch, and the super skinnies are fat and ugly, but I wouldn't know, because I didn't go. I have to admit to creeping on a few pictures that have been posted on a share site, and those who are pictured look great (really, most haven't changed a bit). Do I regret not attending the reunion in person? Not a bit. Truth be told, I was helping set up for Tanya's baby shower at Julie's, & I wouldn't have dreamed missing out on that to go to a stuffy locale to spend 2 hours with people I never liked to begin with.

In high school I had friends, don't get me wrong. I had a great collection of girls, all of whom I still keep close contact with today, and some of my all-time best memories are shared with them. Aside from 'my group', I was also friendly with a lot of other people, and I don't think I was on anyone's 'black list', for lack of a better term (in high school, that is). I wasn't "popular" by any means. I wasn't athletic. My parents didn't make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, so I wasn't dressed head to toe in brand names and styles. My crushes on the cute, popular boys all went unrequited. I kept to myself, for the most part, and I earned decent grades. The list of 'accepted' people on the invitation list contained 98% of the people from my graduating class that I don't care about, and didn't associate with. I actually would love to set up an afternoon or evening with my old high school friends, or "bench gang", as we called ourselves. Our own little reunion of sorts. But, to pay $40 to eat (or $80 if I wanted to drag Chris with me) and view a room of snobs to see them continue to look down their nose at me? I'd rather watch paint dry. I'd rather endure a lengthy gynecological exam.

Surely there must be a reason why I'm so bitter, you're all saying to yourself. Yeah. Of course there are memories that are etched into the depths of my brain that I will never forget. Stupid, silly, grade school memories of a group of bullies who didn't want to accept the 'new girl' into their pact. Bullies who made me come home and cry every day after school. Bullies who made me write terrible things about them in my diary. The same bully pact that followed me from elementary, to junior high, and on to senior high school. So I carry a grudge. You don't treat me like shit in my 'formative' years and then slap me on the back and be my best friend years down the road. One girl went out of her way to do whatever she could to have the entire 6th grade class hate me. This girl, as you may guess, was one of those attendees to the auspicious 20 year reunion.

A decade ago, I did attend my 10 year reunion. I expected the 20 to be much the same. One of the popular girls (not the same girl in the aforementioned paragraph, but they both travel in the same circle) came over to the little bench gang grouping, and she smiled her fake smile, looking to see what we all did with our lives since leaving high school. She's apparently an accomplished sports psychologist or some such thing (and how she got the degree beside her name is beYOND me, because she wasn't the sharpest pin on the cushion through high school, let me tell ya). When it came to my turn, I proudly announced my then-place of employment. A call centre. She looked me deeply in the eyes, patted me on the shoulder and said, like she was sympathizing with me over a dead pet, "Oh.... it's okay....". I can't make this shit up -- and why would I?

So yeah, I wasn't in the right mindset to face her questions 10 years later, when although I'm not still working at that call centre, my future with my current employer is not really known right now. How do you go to a 20 year high school reunion without a known career path or answer to the question, "What do you wanna be when you grow up?". Besides that, I have probably another 50 or so odd pounds on since I bid adieu to my alma mater, and I just know I wouldn't fill out that dress like I'd like to. You can't blame a girl from being a little self-conscious.

I purposely didn't name any 'names' in this post - and if any of my graduating class happen to read this, I mean no offense. If you can figure out if you're one of 'those girls', you should just know that you really hurt me, and I wanted to let you know. I can only hope that you raise your children to be a little more respectful of their peers so history doesn't repeat itself.

Yeah, I opted out of my 20 year high school reunion. And I have no regrets.

** Alternate title, and both quotes courtesy of Heather from Romy and Michele's High School Reunion: "Why don't you tell everyone I said to go f@#k themselves for making my teen years a living hell?"