"I can't use, 'It's not you, it's me', cause obviously it's them"*

A return to the Bachelor, and maybe a few more regular blog posts for ya'll.  This season's installment stars the beautiful beach-blonde, muscle-bound Shawn Lowe.  We were first introduced to Shawn when Emily was trying her hardest to find Mr. Right.  Many viewers felt she made the wrong decision for letting Shawn pack up and go on his merry way, but now we're reaping the benefits of just that, as he embarks upon his own journey to find a mate.  He's super cute, has an amazing chest, and he seems pretty darn sweet, to boot, doesn't he?

{Maybe he's only good looks?? I cannot believe he enlisted Arie-in-the-stupid-skinny-jeans for a pre-mansion pep talk, complete with lessons on how to kiss like a pro; fortunately, I had the blog to distract me a little til that was OVER.}

Night one is always a little boring, but in true Bachelor fashion, there were dirty looks, drunken debauchery, jealousy, premature tears, and the handing out of about a dozen roses ahead of the actual rose ceremony itself.  I liked that he did that; he easily weeded through the obvious choices. I have just a few words about the girls:

AshleyP- That girl is just 50 Shades of WRONG!  I hated her before her pre-meeting-Shawn introduction was over. Her behaviour at the cocktail party was appalling (although I might have rewound her fall about 5 times...helllooo, trainwreck, thy name is Ashley!).
Kelly the lounge singer - overdosed on her self-tanner and her hair extensions. She didn't make any first impression on me - nor Shawn, to my delight.
Robyn - she who opts to do backflips in a sequined dress deserves to fall on her face (everyone wants to make a good first impression, but that was ridiculous).
Tierra - First impression?  I kinda like her; her interview tape was cute; I love her tattoo, and I LOVE the fact that Shawn opted to give her a rose before even meeting the rest of them (take that for a leading first impression, backflipper).  However, if the teaser at the end of the first episode is any indication, she may turn out to be the next girl we all love to hate.  Ah, drama....Bring it!
Dianna's dress was STUPID.
Kristy (the Ford model) - her self-assuredness is going to get old. Quick.
Lindsay-the-bride - a little much. if you ask me.  You're not a goofball you're an idiot. And I can't believe you got the last rose. He should have kept the one who travelled all those miles... Who knows, though. Maybe once she sobers up she'll surprise us all?
KacieB - as in B from Ben's season. Hey, everyone deserves love, right? And Ben didn't love her, so she called the producers to see if maybe Shawn would. I always liked her so I'm not upset to see her join the fun...a little added jealousy for the other girls might be a little fun, too.
Desiree -I like her, too.  She's really cute, and seems like she's down to earth - not phoney like about 75% of them.  If I had to pick one out of the lot to be the last girl standing after having seen just the first episode, I'd go with her.
Taryn - Tip for ya, chickie - crying on night ONE merely displays your INSTABILITY.  Go back home to your therapist.  Noo wait, you're safe, for at least a week.  Apparently the other Ashely was just a BIT more unstable than you (fre--eak!)

Ahhh ABC, once again, you've made my Monday nights (err....well, in this case, my Sunday night, as I finally got to watch last week's premiere episode courtesy of the PVR).  Since it's recorded, maybe I'll go back and watch that fall again...).  Stay tuned, girlies!

*Bachelor Shawn, on his 'breakup' strategy
**Optional post title:  "A little bit of a bum-ski"