just what DO you have?

Because I'm all kinds of lazy I didn't have a lunch to bring with me today.  Because I know that I've been putting too much crap in my body I opted out of the more desirable cheeseburger and fries that I really wanted for a more sensible option of a sandwich for lunch today.  Because I wanted needed some retail therapy I opted for the ever-quick Tim Hortons drive-thru so I could order quick, eat quick, and get me to Reitmans. Because it was effin' HOT I thought I'd try that new frozen lemonade to go with my ham & cheese on whole wheat.  So I place my order... "I'm sorry ma'am, but our machine is down for cleaning so I can't get you a frozen lemonade" (might I remind you that today might have been the hottest day on record of the summer so far. But it was down. For cleaning.  Right.).  Ok. Without batting an eye, I then opted for a smoothie.  "I'm sorry ma'am, but our machine is down so I can't get you a smoothie, but we do have iced capps, lattes, etc".  Ok. So even though my heart was set on lemonade, I opt for the iced capp, because it was effing hot and I wanted something cold.  I get to the window.  I flash my debit card at the lady taking my money.  She hands me their debit machine (how the heck did we manage without that at Tims before, anyway?).  Just as I'm about to insert my card in the slot the lady says, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we're fresh out of ham (yeah I'm paraphrasing; pretty sure she wasn't completely Dr. Suess), but we have chicken, turkey, egg salad...." (are you effing kidding me?).   Thinking I really should have gone for that cheeseburger & fries, I sigh a little and accept the offer of the egg salad.  Least it wasn't processed meat, right?  She then said, "I'm just glad you didn't ask for a smoothie because our machine is down...".  I just sorta glared at her and said, "Honey, we already went down that road with the lemonade... and then the smoothie...".  She smiled meekly and said, "Well sometimes I don't hear the orders....um...here's your sandwich, have a good day now".  Looking at the skanty sandwich before me, I'm pretty certain that the next person to order an egg salad sandwich was about to here, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we're out of eggs".  I think they just rubbed the bun over the remnants of what was left of the egg salad mix and threw a brown leaf of lettuce on top to avoid saying, 'I'm sorry ma'am', to me one more time.  I did get to Reitmans though, and returned to work a little hungry, but a new outfit in hand, so the lunch hour wasn't all bad.