nothing loved is ever lost...

You wiped away my tears.  You bandaged up my skinned knees.  You danced me around on your feet.  You taught me how to ride a bike.  You knew how to bring a smile to my face when I was sad.  You encouraged me to be the best that I could be.  You were always there to cheer me on.  You were my first love.  I was your little girl...

10 years ago the world lost a great man, and I lost my true hero.  I was there in your final days. I saw you  detailing your will.  I heard you whisper the words, "good bye", as you put your arms out for our last hug just days before you left us. I was there when Father McNally read you your last rites. But on the night of April 4, 2002, I wasn't there to see you take your last breath.  By the time I got there, you'd already passed.  What I wouldn't give right now to take that moment back - to not go out to the restaurant, but to go to the hospital, instead.  I regret not being there.  I regret not saying, "I love you", one last time.  I regret not kissing your forehead one last time.  I regret that you knew I wasn't there.  Maybe you didn't want me there because you knew how hard it was on me? On that night, your suffering was finally over, but ours was only beginning. 

Your loss is a void that will never ever be filled.  There's always a blank spot where you should be.  Every day I think about you.  Every day I'm  missing you.  Every day I love you.  You are so close in my mind and in my heart that I'm keeping you close to me.  As long as I have a memory of you - of your smile, your twinkle in your eye, your laugh...you'll never really leave.  But I miss you. I'll always miss you.  Forever in my mind, and in my heart.  I love you, Dad...xoxoxoxoxo.

Don't think of him as gone away -
his journey's just begun
life holds so many facets -
this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing
that he could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched...
for nothing loved is ever lost -
and he was loved so much.